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Just before Christmas, I uploaded a short clip from a recent sermon on my Facebook page. I included the caption, “A church that makes the main thing the main thing, respects questions and doubts, and seeks unity in Jesus alone ~ Bayside Church!”  The clip went for about 5 minutes and included some humour because I believe making people laugh is like sugar that helps the medicine go down.  But apparently, I’m wrong!

One person commented, “You added a lot of humour here but I never heard Jesus, or the apostles do that in their ministry.”  Personally, I’ve never heard Jesus or the apostles say anything.  I’m not that old (whoops, sorry, humour).  I guess what they meant is they haven’t read anything humorous in Jesus’ or the apostles’ teaching.

Lost in translation

One of the challenges we have with the Bible is that it was written over 2,000 years ago in various languages and to different cultures, and so the humour that is in the Bible doesn’t usually translate into modern English. It’s like when I preach in other countries through an interpreter; some jokes just don’t translate, and other things that I don’t think are funny become absolutely hilarious. Much of my life is like this!

Sad or joyful Jesus?

Quaker author Elton Trueblood in his book The Humour of Christ points out that because of the need to explain the suffering of Jesus, the sad parts can overwhelm the lighter elements. But Jesus was only the Man of Sorrows concerning His work on the cross – and even that He endured with joy (Hebrews 12:2).  In fact, Jesus taught his followers that their sadness would only be for a short period and that his ultimate goal was for their joy to be full (John 16:19-24).

Some may want to point out that the Bible records that “Jesus wept’ not that “Jesus laughed”.  This is mentioned because it was news, that is, an unusual event.  Our newspapers don’t tell us the sun rose this morning, they don’t report on all the people who made it to work safely.  The news announces unusual events – otherwise, it’s not news.  The Bible doesn’t document that Jesus laughed because it wasn’t news, and there’s plenty in the Bible to indicate that Jesus was a happy man.

Hebrews 1:9 tells us “God has set you [Jesus] above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”  He was a joyous man because He was filled with the Spirit and thus had the fruit of the Spirit including joy (Luke 10:21).   Jesus attracted people. Children especially loved Jesus.  They would climb up into his arms, and he would bless them.  No one is attracted to sour-faced individuals.  Jesus told people to “Be of good cheer” (Mt 9:2) – surely, He practised what He preached!

Jesus gave His joy to others – you have to have it to give it (John 15:11).  And yes, Jesus used humour in His teachings.  Statements like “take out the beam from your eye”; “strain out a mosquito and swallow a camel”; and “a camel going through the eye of a needle” would all have been hilarious to Jesus’ hearers.

Misunderstood Jesus

The overly severe Pharisees accused Jesus and his disciples of being gluttons and drunkards.  Of course, they were neither, but in the eyes of the stern religious people of the day, they were guilty because they associated with people who were. The first miracle Jesus did was turning water into the best wine at a seven-day wedding feast.  Unfortunately, some of the Christian faith over the centuries has been about transforming the wine back into water!

On one occasion, Matthew threw him a massive feast and invited all of his tax-collector buddies to meet Jesus (Luke 5:27-39). The happy party caused the religious leaders to criticise, complain and talk of fasting and prayer (obviously because that is more spiritual than eating with friends).  Jesus responded with humour, sarcasm, a parable, and then a sigh that despite his presentation of truth they, like fools, would stick to their old ways.

Even the morose and peevish John Calvin (known for burning opponents at the stake) had to admit in his Institutes of the Christian Religion (III: 19:9): “We are nowhere forbidden to laugh, or to be satisfied with food, … or to be delighted with music, or to drink wine.”  Thanks for your permission, John!

A place for humour in faith

Humour celebrates the goodness of God, the world God created, and the life God gives. It is an accepted fact of medicine that humour is good for our physical health (Proverbs 17:22) and is usually the best way of coping with the trials and disasters that come our way.  If we aren’t careful, we can let circumstances suck the joy right out of us. Humour can lighten the load.

The New Jerusalem Bible translates Colossians 4:6: “Talk to them agreeably and with a flavour of wit (“seasoned with salt,” RSV), and try to fit your answers to the needs of each one.”  Greek comic writers used the verb artyo, meaning “to season”, as seasoning with the salt of wit. That’s what I was doing by using humour in the video I posted to Facebook, seasoning God’s truth with the salt of wit.

Jesus wouldn’t use humour? I beg to differ!

The church didn’t celebrate the birth of Christ until the third century because no one knew (or could agree on) the date. It was highly unlikely for shepherds to be watching their flocks in the middle of a Northern Hemisphere winter. They were more likely to be doing that in Spring (or at least in warmer months).  Still, the actual date of Jesus’ birth remains a mystery. For the first few centuries, the main celebration of the Christian church was Easter.

Historical Influences

In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday.  It was Pope Julius I who chose December 25 in an effort to engage with the culture of the day (December 25 was the birthday of Mithra, the god of the unconquerable sun. It was believed that Mithra, an infant god, was born of a rock. For some Romans, Mithra’s birthday was the most sacred day of the year).  It was also the time of the Saturnalia festival – a holiday in honour of Saturn, the god of agriculture. According to history.com Saturnalia began in the week leading up to the winter solstice and continued for a full month.  It was a hedonistic time when food and drink were plentiful – much like Christmas for many people today!

In Scandinavia, the Norse celebrated Yule from December 21, the winter solstice, through January, in recognition of the return of the sun. In Germany, people honoured the pagan god Oden during the mid-winter holiday.

Christmas was first called the Feast of the Nativity.  The custom spread to Egypt by 432 and to England by the end of the sixth century. By the end of the eighth century, the celebration of Christmas had spread all the way to Scandinavia. Today, in the Greek and Russian Orthodox churches, Christmas is celebrated 13 days after the 25th, which is also referred to as the Epiphany or Three Kings Day.  This is the day it is believed that the three wise men finally found Jesus in the manger – if only they had a GPS!

By holding Christmas at the same time as traditional winter solstice festivals, church leaders increased the chances that Christmas would be popularly embraced, but gave up the ability to dictate how it was celebrated. By the Middle Ages Christianity had, for the most part, replaced pagan religion. On Christmas, believers attended church and then celebrated raucously in a drunken, carnival-like atmosphere.

Puritan Influences

In the early 17th century, a wave of religious reform changed the way Christmas was celebrated in Europe. When Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan forces took over England in 1645, they vowed to rid England of decadence and, as part of their effort, cancelled Christmas.  In June 1647, a British Parliamentary ordinance abolished the feasts of Christmas, Easter and Whitsun. During the Christmas of 1647, a number of ministers were taken into custody by the authorities for attempting to preach on Christmas Day. But good sense finally won out over religious fundamentalism and King Charles II restored Christmas in 1660.

Current Influences

Two books have heavily influenced our current Christmas celebrations: Washington Irving’s The Sketchbook of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent (1891) – a series of stories about the celebration of Christmas in an English manor house.  Irving focused on Christmas being a peaceful, warm-hearted, family-centered holiday bringing groups together across lines of wealth or social status.

Also around this time, English author Charles Dickens published his classic book, A Christmas Carol. The story’s message was the importance of charity and good will towards all humankind and struck a powerful chord in the United States and England showing members of Victorian society the benefits of celebrating the holiday.

Over the past few decades, some old traditions were added to the “new” view of Christmas presented by Irving and Dickens – people started decorating trees, sending holiday cards and giving gifts.

And that’s how we find Christmas today. In Australia, we have the idea that we celebrate Christmas as it has been done for centuries but that’s not right.  Thanks to two books we’ve really re-invented a holiday to fill a cultural need of a growing nation – and it’s a wonderful time for Christians to engage with culture. 

Hospitality, generosity, sharing food together, spending time with family and friends and helping those less fortunate are all amazing ways to live out our faith in Jesus.  And even though Jesus was probably not born on December 25th the important thing is He was born – God came to earth as a flesh and blood person to show us what He is really like – and that’s worth celebrating!

Photograph Credit:  Mithra, taken by Carole Raddato from FRANKFURT, Germany.

It’s a Christmas classic.  Baby, It’s Cold Outside was written 74 years ago, back in a day when the “Party Piece” was a highly respected form of entertainment (you know, before we all sat around tables each checking out our social media likes).

In 1944, Frank Loesser wrote, Baby, It’s Cold Outside for his wife, Lynn Garland, and himself to sing at a housewarming party in New York City.[i]  It became an instant hit that has, since that time, been featured in movies and recorded by many famous artists.  The song is always sung as a duet, usually with a man and a woman, and sometimes with the woman in the “lead” role.[ii] The lead person is trying to convince their date to stay rather than go home and, what follows, is a tongue-in-cheek exchange of reasons to stay and reasons not to.

Song Gets Cold Shoulder

But over the past few years, and more recently in light of the #MeToo movement, there have been increasing concerns about the song.  There are some lyrics that, when sung by a woman, raise concerns.  For example, “Say what’s in this drink?” And, “I ought to say no, no, no sir.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way trivialising the #MeToo movement, or what countless women have been subjected to at the hands of men, especially those in powerful roles.  I am also very aware that, as a white man, I have not had to deal with a lot of the things that others (women, people of non-white races, LGBTIQ people, etc) have been subjected to.  If someone is offended by “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” then they’re better not to listen to it.  But should it be banned as it has happened at some radio stations in the USA and Canada?

One such radio station, Star 102 Cleveland, even asked their audience, “Should we play ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ during the holiday season?”  94% said, “Yes, it’s a classic.”  The station banned the song anyway.

Meaning & Context

So, what is this song really all about?  When you read the lyrics, the intent of the song becomes plain.[iii]  It’s a game.  They’re teasing and having fun, that’s the point of the song.  When she (or he) says, “What’s in this drink?” She’s using a phrase that was “pretty common to movies of the era, and was primarily used by characters looking to excuse their own behaviour.”[iv] There’s no inference here that a man is drugging a woman to rape her.  In fact, the woman actually wants to stay but is concerned about what others (her parents, the neighbours, her brother, sister or maiden aunt) would say about her if she did.  This much more accurately reflects the attitudes of the 1940s and the intent of the song.

If radio stations want to look for some songs to ban, how about banning The Rolling Stones’ Brown Sugar song for example?  The song is about a slave trader who enjoys raping African slaves.  And just a cursory look at the current charts is enough to curl your hair.  Almost half of the Australian Top 50 songs are marked, “explicit.”  In the USA three-quarters of the songs in the Top 50 are explicit.  These songs are full of sexual exploits and overtones, drug use and abuse, demeaning language towards women who are often portrayed as sexual conquests, and the foulest language.  Many of the current songs make Baby, It’s Cold Outside look tame and harmless by comparison.  So, why don’t we hear more protests about contemporary songs?  Why pick on a song written almost three-quarters of a century ago?

Sensitive or Desensitised?

Glenn Anderson, a host at the Star 102 station, blogged that although the song was written in a different era, the lyrics felt “manipulative and wrong”.  “The world we live in is extra sensitive now, and people get easily offended, but in a world where #MeToo has finally given women the voice they deserve, the song has no place.”

The world we live in is extra sensitive now?  Really? Are you sure we’re not becoming desensitised?

 

[i] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby,_It%27s_Cold_Outside

[ii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtoW4aV-CIc

[iii]https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=baby+it%27s+cold+outside+lyrics&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

[iv] https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/is-baby-its-cold-outside-an-ode-to-rape-that-deserves-its-sudden-banishment-from-canadian-radio

 

I’ve always held the greatest respect for Imran Khan.  He was a fantastic cricketer and cricket captain, and well known for his philanthropic work especially building and developing the Shaukat Khanum Memorial Cancer Hospital and Research Centre; to make cancer treatment accessible to every citizen of Pakistan.

Since August this year, Imran Khan has been Prime Minister of Pakistan, with a focus on making the country a humanitarian state that seeks to elevate the standards of living of the less fortunate and where everyone is equal under the law.  His Party aims to create a welfare state that gives attention to education, health, and employment. It promotes freedom of thought and works against religious discrimination – and that’s why what Imran Khan said last week is confusing.

While addressing a conference in Islamabad on the birthday anniversary of Prophet Muhammad on Tuesday, he said, “Moses got some mention, but Jesus Christ has no mention in human history.” [1] Khan’s statement is concerning for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it works against his party’s platform of working against religious discrimination and secondly, it’s completely false.

Inconsistent With Reality

Pakistan’s strict Blasphemy Laws have recently been in the news again highlighted by the case of Asia Bibi, “a Christian woman from a Punjab village who in 2010 got into an altercation with some Muslim women and was later accused by them of having blasphemed.”[2]  She’s now been acquitted but is in hiding for fear of her life.

Pakistan is the fifth worst persecuting nation in the world and is “the most violent country for Christians. Islamic extremists attack churches.  Christians are abducted, forced to marry Muslims and even killed for their faith. Many are forced into hiding. The government doesn’t usually intervene.”[3]  Surely Imran Khan’s statement about Jesus will do nothing to help the already desperate challenges faced by Christians in Pakistan.

Jesus in History

Imran Khan’s assertion that Jesus Christ has no mention in human history is completely false.  First Century historian, Josephus, wrote of Jesus in his Jewish Antiquities in AD 93, “Now there was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man, for he was a doer of wonderful works, a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure. He drew over to him both many of the Jews, and many of the Gentiles. He was the Christ; and when Pilate, at the suggestion of the principal men amongst us, had condemned him to the cross, those that loved him at the first did not forsake him, for he appeared to them alive again the third day, as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him; and the tribe of Christians, so named from him, are not extinct to this day.”[4]

The Roman historian Cornelius Tacitus alludes to the death of Christ, “Christus [Christ], the founder of the name [Christian], was put to death by Pontius Pilate, procurator of Judea in the reign of Tiberius” (Annals XV: 44).

Suetonius, the Roman historian and court official during the reign of Emperor Hadrian wrote in his Life of Claudius: “As the Jews were making constant disturbances at the instigation of Chrestus [Christ], he expelled them from Rome” (Life of Claudius 25.4).

Tallus was a secular historian who, in AD52, wrote a history of the Eastern Mediterranean from the Trojan War to his own time. The document no longer exists but other writers like Julius Africanus, who wrote around AD221, quoted it. He cites Tallus’ comments about the darkness that enveloped the land during the late afternoon hours when Jesus died on the cross. Julius wrote: “Tallus, in the third book of his histories, explains away this darkness as an eclipse of the sun unreasonably, as it seems to me (unreasonably of course, because a solar eclipse could not take place at the time of the full moon, and it was at the season of the Paschal full moon that Christ died)” (Julius Africanus, Chronography, 18.1).

Mara Bar-Serapion was a stoic Syrian philosopher who wrote a letter from prison to his son about AD70. He compares Jesus to the philosophers Socrates and Pythagoras.

Lucian, the Greek satirist in the latter half of the 2nd century, spoke scornfully of Christ and the Christians but never argued that Jesus didn’t exist. “The Christians, you know, worship a man to this day the distinguished personage who introduced their novel rites, and was crucified on that account …” (The Death of Peregrine, 11-13).

The Babylonian Talmud states: “It has been taught: On the eve of Passover they hanged Yeshu [Jesus]…they hanged him on the eve of Passover.”  Hanged is another way of referring to a crucifixion (Luke 23:39 and Galatians 3:13).

Add to all this the recent discovery of hand-struck coins minted sometime between 33-47AD which have images and depictions of Jesus Christ – many which correlates to popular Biblical events including Jesus healing the blind man, Jesus raising Jairus’ daughter from the dead and Jesus being bound and dragged on His way to Pontius Pilate.

There are plenty of mentions of Jesus Christ in human history.  Imran Khan could not have been more wrong.  Islam’s Holy Scriptures also attest to the existence of Jesus,

“in the 114 chapters of the Quran … Jesus (Isa) is mentioned directly and indirectly 187 times in 93 verses.”[5]

I hope that Imran Khan will correct his false statement, but I won’t be holding my breath. In the meantime, please remember the precious Christians of Pakistan, pray for them and pray for their persecutors too.

 

[1] https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/pakistan/pakistan-pm-imran-khan-stirs-controversy-over-jesus/articleshow/66754025.cms?from=mdr

[2] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35910331

[3] https://www.opendoors.org.au/persecuted-christians/world-watch-list/

[4] https://baysidechurch.com.au/jesus-a-really-historical-person/

[5] https://baysidechurch.com.au/jesus-in-the-quran/

 

 

A couple of weeks ago, Melbourne was shocked over an attack by Hassan Khalif Shire Ali during what has become known as the Bourke Street terror attack.  While the police tried to detain Ali, a homeless man, Michael Rogers, rammed a shopping trolley into him in a bid to bring him down.  Rogers became a hero now known as the “Trolley Man,” and a GoFundMe page was started that raised $145,000 in less than two weeks.

Generosity at a Cost

While on one hand, this fund-raising initiative is inspiring, on the other it is concerning.  It’s easy to generate generosity by touching the emotions.  Michael Rogers is a homeless hero, who wouldn’t want to support him?  So, let’s give money.  It turns out that the police would rather that Rogers hadn’t got involved as he could have made a bad situation worse.  Also, Rogers already has a Housing Commission flat, which he chooses not to live in.  On top of that, “He has a long criminal record including five years in prison for aggravated burglary. He is a drug user… what they’ve done now is start up this GoFundMe page … to use as he chooses.”  [1]

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against helping Michael Rogers, or any other person who is homeless, from a criminal background, a drug addict, a person living with a mental illness, or any combination of these challenges.  What I am saying is we need to be wise in what we give to and not to be simply led by our emotions.

So rife is the conning of well-meaning people that there is now a website called gofraudme which details dozens of frauds on GoFundMe as well as how to recognise and report a scam.

Consider the recent appeals for drought-affected farmers in Australia as an example of unwise giving.  Some well-meaning people were helping individual families, but that was creating resentment amongst the families that weren’t being helped.  Some organisations were trucking food into farming towns, but that was affecting local businesses because people were buying less from them.  And so, in their generosity people were creating additional problems and distress in those who were already suffering.

Be Wise & Generous Hearted

Jesus taught his followers to “be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.” [2]  Shrewd = wise, sharp, smart, perceptive.  I believe God wants people to be generous but, in our generosity, we shouldn’t be gullible.  When presented with a “need” spend time checking it out. Ask questions, do your research, and make sure you give sensibly rather than emotionally, with knowledge and understanding of the bigger picture. And wherever possible work through people you know or through reputable charities and churches.

 

[1] https://www.fiveaa.com.au/shows/leon-byner/The-Massive-GoFundMe-For-Melbourne-s-Trolley-Man-Might-Not-Be-A-Great-Idea-Says-Peter-Ford

[2] Matthew 10:16

 

When Christie and I were filming an episode of Bayside TV, one of the most incongruous things we experienced was our pacifist guest getting angry!  We asked questions that challenged his view and, well, things got a little heated to say the least.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those warmongering fundamentalist Christians who appears to delight in bombs going off in faraway places. Such people are a living contradiction, saying they are “pro-life” and yet delighting in their guns, weapons and death penalties. But neither am I an antiwar peace lover.

A Bible verse that is invariably quoted to support pacifism is Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”  This is the only time the word peacemaker appears in the Bible, and it should be noted the word is peace maker, not peace lover.

In a modern context, we think of this Beatitude as meaning an end to war or violence. Peace lovers often want peace at any cost – or no cost at all. Peace lovers fall into two categories – the pacifists and the peaceful.  The peaceful are people who want peace at any price even if it is to their detriment or the ultimate disadvantage of others. The pacifist, on the other hand, is a person who believes that war and violence are unjustifiable in any circumstance.

Pacifists emphasize the teaching in the Sermon on the Mount – turn the other cheek and love your enemies.  They use the example of Jesus in his betrayal, arrest, torture, and crucifixion when he didn’t resist, and that he even prayed for those who nailed him to the cross.  The pacifist’s conclusion is that Jesus has called us to live a life of non-resistance and non-violence, but they ignore verses like Luke 22:36, “He said to them, “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.”  The truth is, peace is not always an option. Consider Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Sometimes, it doesn’t depend on you!

In my opinion, the Bible does not teach pacifism; in fact, it gives three times when it’s right to fight:

To Preserve Freedom

Many times, in the Hebrew Scriptures, God told the Israelites to go and liberate a particular group of people.  In Numbers 32, God expresses anger at two tribes in Israel because they wouldn’t go to war.  Moses says to these two tribes, “What are you going to do?  Just sit here while the rest of your brothers go to war?  Aren’t you going to participate?” (Num 32:6).  If you don’t know what’s worth dying for, you won’t know what’s worth living for!

To Defend Innocent People

The Wisdom literature states, “When justice is done it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers.”[i] Christians are not just interested in peace – we want peace with justice.  Peace at any price is not peace at all.  Peace at any price is appeasement.  God is not only a God of peace, He is also a God of justice.

Edmund Burke, the Irish political Philosopher famously said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”  British Philosopher, John Stuart Mills wrote, “A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares about more than his personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free.”

To Stop The Spread of Evil

Paul the apostle believed that God had empowered governments to enforce the law and punish offenders.[ii] While the context is primarily speaking about civil matters, there is little doubt that governments also have the authority to act in order to stop the spread of evil regimes and the plans of tyrannical leaders.  What if the world had not responded strongly against Hitler’s plans for world domination or, as in more recent times, to seek to stamp out so-called Islamic State?

Someone may ask: “Doesn’t the sixth commandment say, `You shall not kill?”  No, it doesn’t.  It says, “You shall not murder.”  The word is used 47 times in the Bible, and it always means murder.  Is there a difference between killing and murder?  Absolutely!  C.S. Lewis said, “All killing is no more murder than all sexual intercourse is adultery.”  There is a difference.  When is it right?  When its goal is to bring about justice, preserve freedom, and reduce evil in the world.

God’s Ultimate Desire Is For Universal Peace

War is not God’s ideal, but we live in a far from ideal world.  His eternal kingdom will only be inhabited by righteous people, and so then there will be no need for war: “He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples.  They will beat their swords into ploughshares and their spears into pruning hooks.  Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.” [iii]  This verse is written on a wall across the street from the United Nations building in New York City, but they left out a significant part – “He … will settle the disputes for many peoples.”  He – Jesus, not the United Nations.  We’ll never have ultimate peace until the Prince of Peace establishes His reign on Earth.  In the meantime, Christians should pray, work, and fight for peace.

[i] Proverbs 21:15

[ii] Romans 13:4

[iii] Isaiah 2:4

Earlier this year, I received one of the most tragic phone calls I’ve ever taken.  One of our Bayside Church leaders told me that a guy, who’d been part of our church for over a decade, had died by suicide.  I dropped everything and raced over to the house.  By the time I arrived, detectives and the police were in attendance, confirming that the worst had happened and this precious guy had ended his life.

Over the next hours and days, I spent time letting his wife and family, and then his closest friends, know what had happened.  To see the utter devastation in so many people was heartbreaking.  At times like these, there are so many questions that cannot be answered.  At his funeral, I did my best to comfort, encourage, and give hope to his family and friends.

The sorrow I witnessed at the start of the year is encountered several times every day all around Australia, and thousands of times daily in every country of the world.[i]

 “Countries large and small, advanced and developing, all experience the pain of suicide firsthand.” [ii]  In all but one of these countries (Lesotho), men are more likely to suicide than women (75% of suicides in Australia are men).

Suicide Rates

Last month, the Australian Bureau of Statistics released its Causes of Death report, highlighting that Australians are taking their lives at an unacceptable rate with suicides increasing.  Suicide is the leading cause of death amongst 15 to 44-year-old’s, and the third highest cause of death amongst those from 45 and 64.

SANE Australia CEO, Jack Heath says, “Suicide rates are heading in the wrong direction and we need to change this.  We also know that the risk of suicide is higher for those living with complex mental illness and we still have a long way to go in reducing the stigma associated with complex mental illness and in facilitating access to adequate evidence-based care and support.  It is now more important than ever to support people and help them understand that the world is better off with them.”

Starting with Mental Health

One in two Australian men will have had a mental health issue at some time in their lives.  According to the Movember website, “Most of us say we’d be there for our mates if they need us.”  But sadly, “Most of us also say that we feel uncomfortable asking mates for help.”

Now more than ever there are a great number of resources available to help us deal with mental health concerns.  Websites like Conversations Matter offer lots of ideas for discussing suicide, and Beyond Blue have an entire page dedicated to getting help and ‘having the conversation.’  Heads Up Guys offer health strategies to help men manage and prevent depression, and Head to Health is an Australian Government initiative that enables you to access many mental health services and resources.

With regards to my friend who died earlier this year, none of us (his friends and family) were aware of how bad things were for him or that taking his life was on his mind.  We are all devastated by his loss.  Rarely a day goes by when I don’t think of him.

Finding Support After Suicide

One of the most helpful things at this time was a visit by a lady from Jesuit Social Services (JSS) who offer a program Support After Suicide.  She spent a couple of hours with me, Christie and our pastors at Bayside Church.  JSS offers some excellent resources on their website that will help you if someone close to you has taken their life.

Getting Active

Men’s mental health and suicide is something that touches (or will touch) us all.  Early intervention is a key strategy in mental health recovery.  I encourage you to start and continue those difficult conversations with loved ones, stay connected to your community and seek help if you recognise some warning signs in yourself or another.

RU OK also provides information on how to approach someone you may be concerned about.

If you’d like to do something practical, join me in November as I #bringbackthemo.  Create a profile on www.au.movember.com, grow a Mo and encourage people to donate to the cause of men’s mental health.  If you’d like to sponsor me, please click here.

Also, if you live in Melbourne, I invite you to join us at Bayside Church for a Men’s Mental Health Night on either the 8th or 13th November.  You’ll hear men talk about what it takes to develop a community of support, as well as GP’s about best practice treatments and their role in supporting men. It’s a free event, and everyone is welcome.

Further Help

SANE Help Centre on 1800 187 263 or helpline@sane.org from 10am-10pm AEST

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Line – 1800 659 467

MensLine – 1300 789 978

Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636

Kids Helpline (5 to 25 years old) – 1800 551 800

Headspace (12 to 25 years old) – headspace.org.au

 

[i] About 3,000 people a day commit suicide, that’s one every 40 seconds. For each individual who takes his/her own life, at least 20 attempts to do so.  Approximately one million people commit suicide every year worldwide.

[ii] https://www.mentalhelp.net/aware/suicide-rates-interactive/

 

Can you disagree and remain friends?  It’s a question I’m regularly asked especially when the debate gets a little heated on social media.  My answer to the question is, “Well, yes & no” because it depends on several variables.

It depends on the importance of what you disagree about.  For example, I have a shirt that I refer to as “my pink shirt”, but Christie assures me it’s salmon.  Now to me salmon is a fish, not a colour but does it really matter?  Of course not.  Some things we can disagree on because they really don’t matter.

Some people can’t handle disagreement, and they take it personally especially if it’s a hot topic linked to their values, worldview, or theological position!  Others either argue or withdraw.  Those who quarrel sometimes find it hard to allow others to hold a point of view that is different to their own.  They debate to convince the other person that they need to change their opinion.  When this doesn’t happen, the argumentative person can become angry, frustrated or withdraw.  Remaining friends with people like that is difficult.  That’s why the Bible teaches, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Friends?

It also depends on how you define the word “friends”.  For example, at the time of writing, I have 4857 Facebook friends (plus 4381 followers on my public figure page).  Add to that the number of people who connect with me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and I’d need to hire out the Melbourne Convention Centre and have a couple of sittings to fit everyone in.  But are these people really friends? I don’t know, I haven’t met most of them. 

I’m happy for these “friends” to comment and disagree, but what about when they’re continually disagreeable?  Interestingly, one of the synonyms for “disagreeable” is “unfriendly”.   I try and be patient and kind towards these people by first sending them a private message asking them to run their comments through the fruit of the Holy Spirit  (you know, things like kindness, self-control, and gentleness).  If they persist with their unpleasant behaviour, I warn them publicly.  After that, if they continue to offend, they are blocked or removed.  I refuse to allow such people the privilege of using my platform to air their nastiness.  The fact is you probably can’t remain friends with some friends who are not really friends at all.

Disagreeable Friends?

Can you disagree and remain friends?  Yes, most of the time if you disagree clearly.  State your opinion but don’t force it on others. Don’t see your goal in life as converting other people to your way of thinking. Allow others the freedom of seeing things differently to you.

Christian unity is not the same as uniformity. The Bible uses the word “harmony” to express the proper functioning of a church community.  Harmony occurs when different notes sound pleasing when they are played simultaneously.  Playing the same note over and over is boring.  Christians need to be in unity about the truths around salvation (as summarised in The Apostles’ Creed), but then they should be able to disagree about other things without breaking a friendship.  We shouldn’t have to be in total agreement on every issue to maintain harmony.

Hot Potatoes

Christians have differed about lots of things over the centuries, and nothing has changed.  We still disagree about theological and ethical issues as well as church practice:

  • Is baptism by full immersion or sprinkling?
  • Should women be allowed to teach in the church?
  • Was the earth created in six literal days?
  • Is hell really eternal torture?
  • Is the Bible the inerrant word of God?
  • Is it alright for divorced people to remarry?
  • Is it okay for two people of the same gender to marry?
  • Does the book of Revelation deal with the past or the future?
  • Which political party should I vote for?
  • What is the correct day to worship on?
  • Should we use grape juice or wine for communion?
  • Should Christians eat deviled eggs?

You get the picture! Christians disagree about lots of things, but none of the above effect a person’s salvation so why can’t we hold opposing views and remain friends?

It’s sad that, before I publish a blog or comment on social media these days I have to ask myself the question, am I prepared to lose friends over this?  Why can’t we respectfully disagree without breaking a friendship?   In fact, if you never have a conflict, you’re probably not experiencing genuine community, and your “peaceful” life could just be a sign that your existence has become stagnant.

Do Unto Others

Learn to disagree kindly and to differ without being unpleasant.  Avoid hurtful or personal comments and shun putting others down to lift yourself up.

Can you disagree and remain friends?  Well, yes and no. But if you want to stay friends, and the friendship is genuine, then the friendship is more important than disagreement.

(Take some time this week to read Romans 14 and notice all the helpful points the apostle Paul makes in helping the church work through disagreements).

 

Image Credits

Feature image – Even best friends have disagreements from time to time – Mark Binzegger

There’s no doubt that members of the Bali Nine were guilty.  Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran were both given the death sentence, Renee Lawrence received twenty years and the rest are serving life.  Andrew and Myuran were executed just after midnight on 29 April 2015.

For my wife Christie and I (and many others) it’s still hard to believe that our dear friends are no longer with us.  However, we are encouraged by their legacy that lives on in the continuance of the projects they pioneered, as well as the lives of hundreds of people they helped rehabilitate.  This legacy is beautifully portrayed in a new book, The Pastor and the Painter by Cindy Wockner,[1] and also by the movie, Guilty, which chronicles Myuran’s final 72 hours.[2]

Guilty will be screened in cinemas across Australia on 10 October, The World Day Against the Death Penalty, to raise awareness of the plight of those on death row and the suffering that is inflicted on their families. [3]

Speaking for the Voiceless 

Both Andrew and Myuran were fiercely opposed to the death penalty and asked their family and friends to continue to advocate against it.  That is why Christie and I keep speaking out whenever we have the opportunity to do so.  The 16th World Day Against the Death Penalty on 10 October “aims at raising awareness on the inhumane living conditions of people sentenced to death,” and rightly so.[4]

Death row prisoners experience solitary confinement in the United States and overcrowded conditions in many African and Asian countries.  “Very often, death row prisoners become human beings on which the society does not invest anymore, as if, even before being executed, they were no longer alive, they were no longer considered as human beings.”[5]

By the end of last year, at least 21,919 people were known to be on death row.  Many of these people were sentenced at trials that didn’t meet international “Fair Trial” standards.  This included extraction of confessions through torture and other forms of ill-treatment and so capital punishment isn’t just a matter of being tough on crime as some suggest, it’s an issue of gross abuses of human rights.

China continues to be the world’s worst executioner where thousands of people are thought to be killed every year. Apart from China, 84% of executions last year were carried out in four countries: Iran, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Pakistan.  “Across Asia Pacific, the death penalty was extensively used for offences that did not meet the threshold of the “most serious crimes”, going against international law.” [6]

Why I Stand Against It

And so, for these and other reasons I will continue to advocate against the death penalty:

  • It is irreversible: it carries the risk of executing someone who is innocent.
  • It is unfair: it is used disproportionately against the poor, people with intellectual or mental disabilities and minority groups; and denies any possibility of rehabilitation. It also punishes the innocent families of those killed.
  • It is ineffective: it does not act as a deterrent. For example, Indonesia’s drug problem is getting worse in spite of its executions.[7]
  • It is costly: in western countries like the USA, it is cheaper to keep someone in jail for the rest of their life than to have them executed.

I’m so proud of the Australian government’s initiative to abolish the death penalty worldwide.  “Australia opposes the death penalty in all circumstances for all people.  We support the universal abolition of the death penalty and are committed to pursuing this goal through all the avenues available to us.” [8]

If you want to make a difference, take some time to read Australia’s Strategy for Abolition of the Death Penalty, and contact your local Federal Member to thank them for their stand on this issue.  I also encourage you to book into GUILTY on October 10th at either Village Cinema Southland, or Village Cinema Karingal.  At the Southland screening, I’ll be interviewing Julian McMahon and Christie Buckingham before the film starts.

 

[1] https://www.hachette.com.au/cindy-wockner/the-pastor-and-the-painter

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fG9LsQRCv4

[3] https://au.demand.film/guilty/

[4] http://www.worldcoalition.org/worldday.html

[5] Ibid

[6] https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2018/04/death-penalty-facts-and-figures-2017/

[7] https://www.scmp.com/lifestyle/article/2120688/why-indonesias-drugs-problem-getting-worse-despite-shoot-sight-orders-and

[8] https://dfat.gov.au/international-relations/themes/human-rights/Pages/australias-strategy-for-abolition-of-the-death-penalty.aspx

 

Serena Williams’ upset at the U.S. Open women’s final on the weekend has gained much attention in the news, as has the Herald Sun’s Mark Knight’s cartoon of the event.  Knight has felt the force of outrage against him, many seeing his cartoon as racist.  He has even received death threats which are unacceptable and has disabled his Twitter account.

 

Consider Empathy

I don’t believe Mark Knight intended his cartoon to be racist, but I do think this situation highlights a vital matter we all need to be aware of, that is, empathy: “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another;”[1] to put oneself in another person’s shoes.  Much of the commentary I’ve heard and read is from people who say that those who are accusing Mark Knight of being racist are being ridiculous.  It’s no surprise that the majority of these people are white men who have probably never experienced what it’s like to be on the receiving end of racism.

Now I realise that cartoons are expected to be edgy, satirical and pointed, but making fun of oppressed people is not satire, it’s bullying.  Satire is designed to take concepts to the extreme to show how silly they are.  If Mark Knight didn’t mean to be racist or offensive towards Serena Williams, then a simple apology would be appropriate.

Certain people are already jumping up and down about threats to freedom of speech, but there is no threat here. Mark Knight was utterly free to publish his cartoon and others are just as free to protest.  It seems we only want freedom of speech when people say what we agree with, but I’ll save that topic for another blog.

The point here is that we all need to be aware of what others face, or have suffered, in life.  We need greater empathy (understanding, compassion, identification) for one another.  What we saw from Serena Williams on the weekend was not a “hissy fit” or “dummy spit”, it was the boiling over of years of frustration from being subjected to bigoted abuse throughout her career – things that white male tennis players don’t experience.[2]

Empathy Questions

Empathy causes us to ask the questions, what is it like to be you?  What is it like to see the world through your eyes?  The only way we can know the answer to this is to ask, to talk with people of different races, genders and sexual orientations, rather than to make ill-informed judgments through the lens of our own experience.

I heard a classic example of this last week on Melbourne’s 3AW.  The Royal Adelaide Show removed three award-winning golliwog dolls from a display of handicrafts following a racism outcry on social media.  Tom Elliott interviewed Michelle Hocking, the director of the Royal Adelaide Show, and then took some calls from listeners.  It was interesting to hear the number of people who could see nothing wrong with golliwogs and thought the whole thing was a ridiculous display of outrage.  Tom Elliott naturally agreed – he’s a 50-year-old white man.  However, what if we look at this through empathetic eyes?

Golliwogs are historically associated with blackface — a performance tradition in which white performers would wear dark makeup and crudely stereotype black people.  The golliwog also inspired the racial slur “wog,” which in Britain is a derogatory term for dark-skinned people. [3] African-British writer Hannah Pool said, “unless you have been spat at, kicked or had eggs thrown at you, all while being called that hateful term, it is unlikely you will ever understand why a small doll causes such a big fuss.”[4]  Empathy.

I was talking about this with a dear friend recently.  He is of Indian descent and was adopted by a white Australian family when he was a baby.  He’s more Aussie than I am but his skin is dark brown whereas mine is white.  He told me of the horrendous bullying and racist slurs he’s been subjected to all of his life. He’s been called a golliwog and sworn at many times.  Even when he married his wife, a white woman, he was at the brunt of awful statements even by Christians.  A man in their Baptist Church asked why he was marrying a white woman: “Aren’t there enough of your type over there that you wouldn’t have to come here and marry one of ours?”

When he was 12, he was doing some voluntary work at the World Vision stall at the Easter show, signing people up for the 40-Hour Famine.  A middle-aged white woman told him, “All black people should be dead.  If they can’t look after themselves, we should just bomb them all.”  Fancy saying that to a young boy!  As a white guy, I’ve never been at the brunt of this sort of comment.  Sure, I’ve had pommy jokes told in my presence, but I have never been scorned or ostracised for being British.  I don’t have a history of racial abuse that has left me scarred and vulnerable.  The same goes for my Irish wife who tells lots of hilarious Irish jokes.

Empathy Considers Context

Another factor to consider is location.  For example, telling a joke about a Protestant and a Catholic may fly under the radar in Australia because we haven’t gone to war over this, but in Northern Ireland, it’s a different matter.  Empathy will consider location, as well as cultural and social factors, and be sensitive and caring towards those who are in other places and from different backgrounds.  Wisdom cultures (like Bible cultures and our own indigenous Australians) believe that every part of the land has its memory and history, which is why it is hurtful when we tell jokes or make light of what unfortunate events have taken place on their land.

Empathy will ask what it’s like to be in the shoes of another.  What’s it like to be a woman commuting home on her own after dark?  What’s it like to be a Muslim woman identified by wearing a hijab or burqa?  What’s it like to be same-sex attracted in a straight-dominated world?  What’s it like to have a skin colour other than white?

Let’s be slower to condemn people like Serena Williams and spend some time trying to see life through their eyes.

 

[1] www.dictionary.com

[2] https://www.bbc.com/sport/tennis/45468290

[3] https://www.theguardian.com/media/2009/feb/06/bbc-race-golliwog

[4] https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/why-golliwogs-are-viewed-as-racist-in-australia/news-story/9b0d8f1aacb2d3004b0a85b6bb26ada6

 

WARNING: Please be advised that this blog contains quotes with explicit language.  

Dear Ariana,

I know that I’m not in your target audience but, because I’m the dad of three daughters I kinda am.  My eldest girls, Paris and Gigi, loved you as Cat Valentine on Victorious and so, being a great dad, I would sit and watch it with them.  They were 11 and eight at the time, and they adored you.  Our youngest was just a baby in 2009, but she’s now ten, and you’re a hero to her.  She loves your music, and herein lies the problem.

Ariana, you’ve achieved your fame (and accompanying fortune) on the back of adoring young female fans.  So, what’s the deal with the new album, Sweetener?  There’s very little that’s sweet about it.  Trinity, our youngest, was hanging out for your new album but, when it was released, we found that all but one track was marked “explicit” – as if there isn’t enough of that sort of stuff on the pop charts already.  Twenty-eight of the current Top 50 songs in Australia are explicit, and many of the others contain themes that are unsuitable for a 10-year-old to be exposed to.  Children’s innocence lasts for such a short period of time, why do we want to rob them of this amazing time in their lives?

Your current hit, Breathin’, is one of those 28 explicit songs in the charts.  The content of the song seems like an honest cry for help from someone who’s feeling overwhelmed by the stresses of life. So why include the line, “How do I know if this shit’s fabricated?”  Why not “stuff?” It starts with ‘s’ and has one syllable and wouldn’t detract from your song or its message.  But Breathin’ is tame compared to some of the other songs:

  • Blazed is about being high on drugs and is just one of the songs including drug references.
  • God is a woman is about a woman who’s going to “make love” to a guy “the way I like it, how I want it.” The boy will confess he’s been so blessed by the amazing sex that he will come to believe that God is a woman.
  • Sweetener is a graphic description of oral sex.
  • Everytime is about a girl who’s in an unhealthy, addictive relationship. She keeps leaving but always goes back to him, “Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?” The song also includes references to drug and alcohol abuse.
  • Better off: “Let’s put them topics to bed and go fuck on the roof, just to say that we did it.”
  • Goodnight n go: “Lately, all I want is you on top of me. You know where your hands should be.”
  • The light is coming: “Ah, gonna break that shit down … can’t let an f-boy eff up my nice vibes.”

Ariana, you seem like a lovely person. The compassion you showed following the Manchester bombing was stunning.  I’ve admired you and your talent for many years, and I’ve been happy with my girls being “Arianators.”  But not anymore.  While my two eldest daughters are no longer in your target audience, my ten-year-old is.  She and I talked about your new album, and she was really disappointed when I told her it was all explicit.  She failed to understand why you needed to do that – and so do I.  It’s like Miley Cyrus 2.0.  You’ve let your young fans down.

I realise it’s too late to change your current album, but can I respectfully ask you to contemplate this plea from a dad who loves his daughters and wants to protect them (and other children) from the darker side of life for as long as possible?  Please consider your young fans who have made you famous, wealthy and influential and care enough to use these things to make the world a better place.

Kind regards,

Rob

 

It was just a couple of months ago when Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton said: “Australians must guard against compassion towards refugees as it could undo the government’s hard-fought success in discouraging people smugglers.” [1]  I believe Mr Dutton’s statement reflects a faulty logic.  If the boats were going to start again because of compassion, they would have started when asylum seekers moved to the United States, or when kindness was finally shown to people who were in desperate need of medical help.  The boat turn back policy seems quite sufficient to stop those who are attempting to smuggle drugs, weapons and people.

I have never viewed compassion as something I need to guard myself against.  Compassion is required for the people held in Nauru, PNG, and other detention centres.  People sometimes ask how a holocaust could happen.  It’s quite simple – demonise a group of people making them “the problem” or somehow “less than human”.  From there it’s easy to treat them without compassion, in fact, we’d need to guard against compassion.  Such is the case for the asylum seekers held in Australian detention centres because we all know they are “boat people”, “economic refugees”, or “terrorists” who are trying to subvert our way of life.

What about children?

Right now, there are several children on Nauru who are severely or critically unwell.  Some of them are self-harming and suicidal.  Consider:

  • A 12-year-old girl who was taken to Nauru hospital after attempting to set herself on fire, an incident that was witnessed by other children. She has made multiple attempts recently to end her life.  Several adults have also set themselves on fire on Nauru, one fatally, and some children have attempted to kill themselves by that method. [2]
  • Or the 17-year-old girl who is being treated inside the regional processing centre after refusing all food, fluid and medical treatment. Three doctors have diagnosed her with a major depressive disorder and “resignation syndrome”.[3] A person who knows the girl said she had previously been one of the brightest and most articulate of the refugee children.  “Before she got sick, she was the best-performing student. She had a dream to be a doctor in Australia and to help others. Now, she is on food-and-fluid refusal and begging to die as death is better than Nauru.” [4]
  • Then there is the 12-year-old boy who had been refusing to eat for 20 days and was finally flown to Brisbane last Tuesday. The boy weighed 36kg and is unable to stand.  His mother and sister are being held in detention in Brisbane but are allowed to visit him.
  • There’s a 14-year-old boy with muscle wastage so severe he may never walk normally again.
  • And a two-year-old child whose parents are too unwell to care for him.

I read these stories and find it so hard to guard against compassion, but I’m trying hard Mr Dutton, I really am!  This week, Buzzfeed released the personal testimonies of one child and two young adult detainees on Nauru. I encourage you to listen to their stories and share them with others.[5]

What about families?

The descriptions of families being torn apart and devastated are heart-wrenching. For example, an air ambulance arrived on Nauru recently to take a gravely ill 15-year-old refugee boy to Taiwan.  After protests from his family (about being separated, possibly permanently) and concerns over his fitness to fly, the plane left without a patient.  International Health & Medical Services (IHMS) staff have made frequent requests for the boy to be moved to a place where higher-level care is available.  The Australian Border Force maintains the boy and his family have refused treatment, citing the plane being turned away at the cost of more than $100,000.  If you were in this family’s position, what would you do? I would feel devastated if one of my children were seriously ill and was being moved to a developing country without Christie and myself; a country where she wouldn’t know anyone and wouldn’t understand the language. But there I am getting all compassionate again.

What about the cost?

This year at least 14 legal challenges have been brought before the federal court seeking immediate orders that children be moved from Nauru to a place where higher-level care is available, almost invariably Australia.  The government has opposed each challenge, but each has been successful: every case has either been conceded by the government at the courthouse door or resulted in an order from the bench that children be moved immediately, a process that is costing hundreds of thousands of dollars all in the name of guarding against compassion.

These are just a few examples of the extreme suffering being experienced by the 117 children (and their families) still on Nauru, and all but a handful have already been recognised as legitimate refugees.  Our government should be very concerned about the upcoming Pacific Islands Forum beginning on September 1. “The Australian and Nauru governments are going to extraordinary efforts to cover up the abuse of refugees and asylum seekers on Nauru.  Demolishing the tents and providing new cars to drive around in, won’t hide the reality of the abuse that Nauru is now internationally identified with.” [6]

I hope the media representatives that get to Nauru to cover the Forum will also be allowed to report honestly on the devastating plight of asylum seekers.  May they NOT guard against compassion.

Please join Christie and me in advocating to get the Kids off Nauru.  Go to Kids Off Nauru to find out how you can make a difference, and use #kidsoffnauru in all social media posts.  Thank you for your compassion.

 

[1] https://www.sbs.com.au/news/compassion-can-undo-efforts-against-people-smugglers-dutton?cid=newsapp:socialshare:copylink

[2] https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/aug/23/nauru-self-harm-contagion-as-12-year-old-refugee-tries-to-set-herself-alight

[3] Children suffering resignation syndrome effectively withdraw from life – refusing to eat, drink, toilet, leave their beds, speak, or even open their eyes. They are sometimes completely unresponsive to stimuli. Resignation syndrome is a very serious state of withdrawal that traumatised children can go through when they are “overwhelmed by stress.”

[4] https://www.buzzfeed.com/lanesainty/australias-child-refugees-are-being-diagnosed-with-swedens?utm_term=.rf2qvVoW0#.oq4YNDa3p

[5] https://www.buzzfeed.com/lanesainty/young-refugees-nauru-mental-health-crisis?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bfsharetwitter&utm_term=.xdoa6xQjX#.jkB2kZ0vB

[6] https://www.sbs.com.au/news/mouldy-nauru-tents-replaced-ahead-of-pacific-islands-forum-in-cover-up-refugee-activists