I had an email from a Bayside Church member recently in which he told me of his greater commitment “to reading the Bible first, then working later,” rather than getting up and working straight away. He then went on to ask me which Bible translation he should use, asking specifically about The Passion Translation (TPT), which comes in for quite a lot of criticism online.

And so, here are some things to consider when choosing a Bible and learning to read and study it effectively.

Translating is tough

An important thing to consider when choosing a Bible is the difficulty of translating something from one language to another.

For example, some words cannot be translated from one language to another because there is no equivalent word. Consider the dilemma for Bible translators in PNG where there is little or no knowledge of sheep. The figures of sheep, lambs, and shepherds figure so prominently in the Bible, so what were the translators to do to remain faithful to God’s Word? Should they translate word for word, making up a new word for sheep (or using the English one) and teaching the people what a lamb is? Or should they find the closest equivalent to sheep in the local culture? They ended up choosing the second option, which meant the words sheep and lamb were translated as “pig” in the PNG Bible.

So, Jesus is the “Pig of God who takes away the sin of the world.” It sounds awful to us and would be offensive to Jewish or Muslim readers, but they had to translate it in a way that the local people could understand God’s Word.

The same happened for the translators of the Inuit Bible because there is no word for “joy” in the Inuktitut language. The translators puzzled over this for a long time and finally settled on the best metaphor they could find – the wagging of husky’s tails while enjoying food after a long expedition. And so, “There is more tail-wagging in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” “The fruit of the Spirit is love, tail wagging, peace…”

The same is true when it comes to English because certain words in Hebrew, Aramaic, or koine Greek have no easy translation in English.

Word or meaning?

I was recently reading a novel in which the following expression was used: “He was behind the eight-ball from the get-go.” While I know what the author meant, I wondered how my friends would go with this whose first language is not English. And how about people reading this, two or three thousand years from now? Would a word-for-word translation help them, or would it be better to translate the concept? I believe the latter is the better answer, and so it is with the Bible.

A word for word translation (KJV, NKJV, NASB, Amplified) is okay but tends to be very wooden and not easy to read, and some ancient concepts don’t translate. Consider Jeremiah 1:11-12 as an example. The NKJV puts it this way:

“Jeremiah, what do you see?”

And I said, “I see a branch of an almond tree.”

Then the Lord said to me, “You have seen well, for I am ready to perform My word.”

The modern English reader is left bewildered by this exchange between God and the prophet, as it makes no sense to us at all. A study of the Hebrew language reveals the answer: the Hebrew word for almond tree is shaqed, whereas the word translated “I am ready” is shaqad. The author is using a play on words that gets lost in translation. And so, this is a 3000-year-old equivalent of “behind the eight-ball from the get-go.” God is telling Jeremiah that he’s going to be true to his word. This meaning is brought forth clearly in The Message Bible (MSG), a Bible that word-for-word proponents invariably criticize:

God’s Message came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”

I said, “A walking stick—that’s all.”

And God said, “Good eyes! I’m sticking with you.

I’ll make every word I give you come true.”

The New International Version (NIV) gives a helpful footnote explaining the true meaning and does this throughout its translation.

What Bibles and study tools do I use?

I enjoy reading and studying the NIV as it’s a “Thought for Thought” translation rather than word-for-word. I supplement the NIV with the New Living Translation (NLT), MSG, and TPT. I refer to others as necessary.

Bible Gateway and Bible Hub apps and websites are excellent study resources. Bible hub has a button for HEBREW (OT) and GREEK (NT), so you can go deeper into words you’d like to get a fuller meaning on. Greek and Hebrew are much more expressive than English, so we lose a lot in translation into our language. For example, four Greek words describe various kinds of love. In English, we have “love.” It’s the same with “Praise,” where there are seven different Hebrew words.

I also highly recommend:

The Jewish Study Bible

The Jewish Annotated New Testament

The New Interpreter’s Study Bible

I believe The Message Bible is an excellent translation (not just a paraphrase) of the Bible as Eugene Peterson is a Greek and Hebrew scholar who brings the meaning of ancient documents into modern vernacular in a way that reflects the original sense.

Buyer beware!

Beware: There are no perfect translations of the Bible, which is why I encourage you to read several versions. The Bible is the accurate and reliable Word of God in its original languages. It needs to be studied in its cultural and historical context to determine the original meaning. Then bring that meaning into your life and incarnate the truth. The Bible is not a static document. It is alive and active (Hebrews 4:12)

The Bible also needs to be re-translated regularly to keep up with language changes. For example, it would be tough for us to understand the original 1611 KJV because English has changed so much. Consider John 3:16, in the 1611 King James Version:

“For God so loued þe world, that he gaue his only begotten Sonne: that whosoeuer beleeueth in him, should not perish, but haue euerlasting life.” We get the gist but we wouldn’t want to do all our Bible reading and study with this translation.

So, love God’s Word. Read it, study it and, most importantly of all, put it into practice. Be like Jesus, who was the Word made flesh.

For more on this topic:

Sermon:

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Matthew 16:19 Jesus made an interesting, and somewhat confusing, promise to one of his disciples, Peter: “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be [or have been] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be [or have been] loosed in heaven.” What did Jesus mean by binding and loosing?

The Roman Catholic tradition attaches it to the spiritual power of the papacy to issue edicts, which may be closer to the original meaning than what is common in evangelicalism. The contemporary Church tends to apply binding and loosing to spiritual warfare. While spiritual warfare is vitally important, there is no biblical basis for taking Jesus’ words to Peter to refer to the binding and loosing of evil spirits.

Binding and loosing refer to the action of permitting or not permitting various activities/behaviours for followers of Jesus.

First, let’s see how this worked in Old Testament times. For example; in Israel’s attack on the city of Jericho, some commandments were suspended. The Levites (priests) who were usually exempt from military duties, led the procession. In other words, the Levites, who were generally bound by a law that prohibited their involvement in battle, were now loosed. Likewise, the people of Israel who were to do no work on the Sabbath marched around Jericho once a day for six days, and then seven times on the Sabbath day. They were loosed from the Sabbath law that usually bound them for the higher purpose of being spared from an enemy that wanted to destroy them.

We see this same principle at work with the midwives in Exodus chapter one where Pharaoh gave them this instruction: “When you help the Hebrew women give birth, observe them as they deliver. If the child is a son, kill him.” The midwives were bound by law to obey Pharaoh, but they were loosed from that law. They also lied to cover up their disobedience, and God blessed them for it. They were loosed from the requirement, “you shall not lie,” for the higher purpose of saving human life.

Rahab, the prostitute, also lied to protect the Hebrew spies (Joshua 2). She told the soldiers the men had already left even though they were still hiding in her house. James 2:25 says she was justified by her good works and Hebrews 11:31 says her faith saved her life.

In the incredible book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom tells the story of how her family hid Jewish people whose lives were threatened during World War II. The Ten Boom family lied to the Nazi’s about having Jewish people in the house. The Ten Boom’s, along with the midwives and Rahab, were loosed from the law against lying for the higher purpose of saving human life.

Another example in the Hebrew Scriptures is King David and his men eating in the Temple (see 1 Sam 21:6). Jesus referred to this story when the Pharisees condemned Jesus and his followers for picking and eating grains of wheat on the Sabbath Day (Mark 2:23-28). Jesus reminded them that the Sabbath day of rest was made for the good of people and not the other way around and that people were not bound from feeding themselves when they were hungry on the Sabbath.

The religious legalists of Jesus’ day are just the same as their counterparts in our time. They are unbending and inflexible and love the law more than they love people.

Jesus put it this way, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

A Rabbi’s Yoke was his interpretation of the Scriptures that he taught to others. A Rabbi would determine from the Scriptures what was permissible and what was not (binding and loosing), and how to best apply the Scriptures in his particular time and culture.

If a Rabbi wanted to preach a new “yoke,” (a different interpretation of the Scriptures) he had to be approved by two other rabbis who had smicha (authority). If he received approval, he was deemed to have smicha in his own right. He would then begin teaching his new “yoke” by saying, “You have heard that it was said…but I tell you…”

In Matthew 16, Jesus gave the keys of the kingdom of heaven to Peter, thus imbuing him with smicha to lock/unlock (authorise/forbid; bind/loose) in the Church.

No evidence in Scripture shows these “keys” were given to anyone else but those in church leadership. We may infer, therefore, that binding and loosing is done by authoritative figures in church roles of leadership who are called to be apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. These leaders make spiritual decisions in applying God’s truth to daily life for the benefit and good of all God’s people.

Not surprisingly, the first significant conflict faced by the first-century Church was a confrontation with legalistic Christians (see Acts 15:1-35). According to them, simply trusting in Jesus’ work of death and resurrection was not enough for salvation. Even non-Jews were expected to be circumcised and obey the Law of Moses. To face this challenge, the apostles and other disciples met in Jerusalem. After much discussion, Peter used the keys Jesus gave him and loosed (unlocked) the Gentile followers of Jesus from circumcision saying, “We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.”

Then James, the head of the Jerusalem Church, issued a decree to bind believing Gentiles to abstain from four pagan practices (Acts 15:13-20). Refraining from these practices were also the initial requirements of the Sanhedrin for admitting Gentiles into Judaism. The result of these decisions was freedom, rejoicing, and encouragement – things that always accompany the teaching of the gospel.

We see this same principle of binding and loosing in our society today. We are usually bound from going through a red light, but an ambulance, fire truck or police car is loosed from this law when a higher law (saving human life, property or catching a lawbreaker) comes into play. In the same way, a judge has the power to lock up (bind) or release (loose) a person in jail.

We find this same binding and loosing principle operating in Paul’s letters. For example, in 1 Timothy 2:11-12, Paul temporarily restricted (bound) women from speaking or teaching in the Church. 1 Timothy was written to prevent the spread of heresy in the Church. It appears that women were the main culprits of spreading the false teaching and so Paul temporarily prohibited them from teaching until they had been instructed in the Word, thus correcting the error that was being taught. This was never meant to be binding on women in ministry for all time and, if it were, it would contradict other parts of the New Testament that endorse the teaching ministry of women.

The principle of binding and loosing is still to be operated in church life by church leaders today for the welfare of God’s people. An excellent example of this is when people who are in de-facto (common law) relationships come into the Church. This has happened many times over the years at Bayside Church. Invariably these people have been together for many years and have children. They are a family unit and, even though we uphold the standard of marriage, a higher law comes into play – that is, the maintaining of a family unit. This level of grace should be given to all people who genuinely desire to follow Jesus, and space should be given to the Holy Spirit to achieve what he wants to in his time and his way!

I love the wisdom of James in Acts 15:19, “It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.” What if every Christian had this Bible verse engraved on their heart? If we lived this truth, we wouldn’t build walls to keep people out, we would build bridges that let people come in.

We should not make it difficult for people who are turning to God!

 

I received an email a short while ago from a member of Bayside Church in which he expressed his concerns about comments made by “so-called Christian friends” about matters of theology that were fundamental to his Christian faith.

He told me the following story:

“A very good friend of mine told me that she does not believe in the virgin birth of Jesus and that translation errors in the Bible have resulted in us all believing something that isn’t true.

“This friend has a Theology degree and is quite dogmatic in her beliefs (or lack thereof). She claims that the original Hebrew text of Isaiah 7:14 refers to a “young woman”, not a “virgin”. Apparently, an early translation of the Hebrew into Greek took the Hebrew word ‘almah,’ meaning young woman, and rendered it ‘Parthenos’ in the Greek, which means virgin.

“She has told me that the matter of the virgin birth is a non-issue to her as she says that Jesus’ divinity is evidenced in His humanity. In my view, if we deny the virgin birth, we diminish who Jesus is. If He is not born of a virgin (and therefore by a divine miracle of God), he cannot be fully man and fully God, but just fully man.

“As so much in the Christian Church is being watered down nowadays, I am finding it increasingly difficult to respond to questions such as these. I’d be very keen to know your views on the virgin birth and whether or not this has ‘changed’ in 21st-century theology.”

I love questions like this as they cause me to search the Scriptures for answers. Here’s my reply:

Your friend is partly right, but I don’t agree with her conclusions.

Understanding Context

It’s important to remember that the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) had meaning to their original recipients. Something that is invariably overlooked today, sadly.

I encourage you to read Isaiah 7:1-17 and note its context. Isaiah the prophet is sent to reassure King Ahaz that the attack on Jerusalem (by Aram and Ephraim) won’t succeed. Ahaz is encouraged to ask for a sign from God to confirm this, but Ahaz is reluctant to do so. So, Isaiah gives him a sign anyway, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” This child would be born and, “before the boy knows enough to reject the wrong and choose the right, the land of the two kings you dread will be laid waste” (verse 16). This would have been a very encouraging message for Ahaz.

Now, the word translated virgin (almah) can mean “young woman or virgin”. In Isaiah’s prophecy, “young woman” is probably correct. It’s likely that Ahaz knows who this young pregnant woman is (it’s possibly Isaiah’s wife, Cf. Isaiah 8:3). So, basically, Isaiah is saying to Ahaz, “as you know, my wife is pregnant and before our baby knows the difference between right and wrong, the lands of those who threatened you will be utterly destroyed. Be encouraged!”

Thus, the baby is a sign that “God is with us” (Immanuel) and will save us from our enemies.

Understanding Greek

Now, in the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures known as the Septuagint (LXX), because it was translated by seventy scholars (between the 3rd Century and 132 BC when it was completed), they rendered the Hebrew word almah as parthenos (Greek) which refers to a young woman (or man) who has never had sexual intercourse (a virgin). I don’t know why they chose this word, but they did, and the New Testament writers picked it up and applied it to Jesus, the Messiah, who was born of a virgin (Matthew 1:18-25; Galatians 4:4-5).

Unlike Isaiah’s sign for Ahaz, this sign from God was to be for the whole world, and not just Jerusalem. And this time the sign was not about a country being delivered from an aggressor but rather people being rescued from their sins. It’s a powerful analogy which lays at the very heart of the Christian faith.

Understanding Sin

I totally agree with you about the importance of the virgin birth. I believe we need to be careful about fiddling with God’s truth, especially the truths that affect a person’s salvation. If Jesus isn’t 100% divine and 100% human, he could not be our Saviour because he wouldn’t be sinless. If that were the case, he would have had to die for his own sins and not ours.

And so, I believe we should boldly proclaim:

I believe in Jesus Christ, God’s only Son, our Lord,

      who was conceived by the Holy Spirit

      and born of the Virgin Mary.

      He suffered under Pontius Pilate,

      was crucified, died, and was buried;

      he descended to hell.

      The third day he rose again from the dead.

      He ascended to heaven

      and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty.

      From there he will come to judge the living and the dead.

 

It’s a question that’s as old as the Christian faith itself: Can I lose my salvation?  It’s a good question and one which I believe is asked out of one of the most profound human needs, the need for security.

Various opinions have been offered over the centuries in an answer.  The French Theologian and Pastor, John Calvin (1509-64) and subsequent generations of his followers taught a doctrine known as, “The perseverance of the saints.”  The Westminster Confession of Faith states it as follows: “They whom God hath accepted in his Beloved, effectually called and sanctified by his Spirit, can neither totally nor finally fall away from the state of grace: but shall certainly persevere therein to the end, and be eternally saved.”

Calvin died, but his teachings lived on, and in 1591 Jacobus Arminius (a Dutch theologian and pastor) began a long process by which he attempted to reform Calvinism – a process which was continued by his followers after his death in 1609.  Part of the attempted reformation of Calvin’s teachings included his views on unconditional eternal security.  Today, “Can I lose my salvation?” continues to be a question that Christians wrestle with and disagree over.  It’s a question people often ask me at Bayside Church.

I believe this question comes from a wrong understanding of salvation, where people see it as an event rather than a process.  If I join a gym and workout once am I, once fit always fit?  I wish :).  We understand that in any area of life we need to exercise discipline and effort not just to maintain but also to grow and develop; it’s the same with salvation.

The Bible speaks of salvation concerning the past, the present, and the future.  Consider these verses:

Ephesians 2:5, “it is by grace you have been saved.”

Philippians 2:12, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.”

Romans 5:9, “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him.”

In His Great Commission, Jesus instructs his followers to make disciples, not just decisions.  I believe there is often too much emphasis on getting people “saved” by “making a decision” and “saying a prayer.”  While all of this is a good start, we are in danger of communicating to people that, once they’ve said the prayer, they are saved, all is good, and they can now go on living life as they always have.  Becoming a disciple or follower of Jesus, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment.  Eugene Peterson refers to it as, “A long obedience in the same direction.” [1]

The word “disciple” comes from the Greek word “mathetes” from which the English word mathematics derives.  Mathetes refers to “mental effort needed to think something through.” [2] In other words, before you choose to become a follower of Jesus, it is vital that you count the cost, diligently thinking through the ramifications, and then making a decision that will affect the rest of your life.  When we make that kind of choice, the risen Jesus will continually intercede for us. “Therefore, he is able to save completely those who come to God through him.” [3] At Jesus’ Second Coming the salvation he started in us through his life, death and resurrection will finally be completed as he ushers us into eternity.

Can I lose my salvation?  It’s a good question and one which I believe is asked out of one of the most genuine human needs, the need for security.  I consider that we’re secure in Christ: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” [4]

The lost son that Jesus spoke of in his parable in Luke 15 was wayward for a time but eventually returned to his father.  At no stage did he ever cease being his father’s son.  His straying broke their fellowship, but not their relationship.  While I believe a follower of Jesus should live a life that is worthy of, and pleasing to God, He also understands and makes provision for our wanderings and imperfections – that’s the beauty of grace!  Followers of Jesus should rest and relax in God’s love, mercy, and grace.

I decided to follow Jesus when I was 19 but, after a few months, I drifted away and, for the next two years, I didn’t live the life of a Jesus follower.  During that time, I regularly felt the tug of the Holy Spirit on my heart, calling me home.  I eventually came back and once again committed my life to following Jesus.  Since that time, I’ve engaged in “A long obedience in the same direction,” but that doesn’t mean my life has been without mistakes, failures, and straying. During these times I continue to sense that gentle tug, and the relentless love of God constantly drawing me back.  I rest in God’s eternal security because, “I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.” [5]

 

[1] https://www.amazon.com.au/Long-Obedience-Direction-Eugene-Peterson/dp/0830822577

[2] https://bibliaparalela.com/greek/3101.htm

[3] Hebrews 7:25

[4] Romans 8:38-39

[5] 2 Timothy 1:12

McCrindle Research’s Faith and Belief in Australia Report was published in May this year and gave some excellent insights into the spiritual state of the nation.  A part of the paper that particularly interested me was the things that attracted and repelled people from religion or spirituality.

Attraction To Faith

The main thing that draws people to a religion, or to investigate spiritual things, is observing someone who has a genuine faith. Other attracting factors include experiencing personal trauma or a significant life change, or by hearing stories or testimonies from people who have changed due to their belief.  One the biggest turn offs is the telling of miraculous stories of healings or supernatural occurrences.  In other words, Australians are interested in hearing about someone’s life that has changed because of their faith, but they are not interested in everything working out miraculously.  Why?  It doesn’t reflect what life is like; it’s not genuine faith.

The Honesty of the Bible

The good news is that the Bible is full of stories where not everything works out well, and the book of Psalms is a particularly valuable resource of stories just like that.  The 150 Psalms can be divided into three main groups:

  1. Everything is wonderful, praise the Lord, hallelujah!
  2. Everything is not wonderful, I’m struggling like crazy, but the Lord is going to rescue me.
  3. Everything is not so good, I’m trying like mad, I’m praying hard, but God’s not listening, in fact, I think He’s gone missing.

A Psalm that fits into the last category is Psalm 88 – a contemplative song or poem set to a familiar tune from 645 B.C. titled “The suffering of affliction”.  Take some time to read Psalm 88, and you’ll be surprised at how honest the author (Heman) is.  He’s overcome with troubles, is feeling weak and overwhelmed, his friends and neighbours have deserted him, and he’s grieving as a result.  He’s praying to God every day, but he feels like God is hiding from him or just not listening.

You’ve probably read this Psalm but underlined little.  You may have wondered why it’s in the Bible, but I’m so glad it is because it reminds us that life is not always fair, and God seems to be completely comfortable with the author’s expressions of injustice.  Think about it, the Holy Spirit inspired Heman to write this Psalm, and the Israelites kept it for hundreds of years so that it’s in the Bible.  God wasn’t ashamed to have this Psalm included in His Holy Scriptures.  He wasn’t yelling out, “Oh, you can’t say that about me; I’m God!”

In the Bible, God challenges people over many things including idolatry and their failure to show justice towards the poor and marginalised.  He gets in the face of the hypocrites and the tightwads, but not once does he correct those who vent their frustration at him when they feel he’s disinterested, far away or has abandoned them, or when life is just not fair.

Jesus’ Struggle

Jesus could relate to Heman in that he too felt abandoned by God while he was on the Cross.  As he was dying, Jesus quoted a Psalm that he would have memorised when he was younger.  He thus used someone else’s experiences to express his own; that’s why Psalm 22 is “The Psalm of the Cross.”  It begins with, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?  Why are You so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?”  It’s encouraging for us to know that Jesus fully experienced the human condition including what it is like to feel abandoned by God and for things not to work out the way he wanted them to – that life is not always fair.

Our Struggles

The Bible tells of many great men and women of faith who experienced life’s unfairness.  For example, in Hebrews 11, the author takes the first 35 verses to tell great stories that all had miracle endings.  If you stopped there you’d feel that your own life was completely inadequate because you just don’t match up to these amazing people.  But life is not always fair, so he goes on to tell about “the others” “who were tortured … faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated—the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised.”  All these people faced gross unfairness, significant difficulties and challenges in life.  They died without receiving the answer to their prayers, but they are all referred to as people with strong faith.

The people’s lives mentioned in Hebrews 11 didn’t finish well, and neither does Psalm 88, “You have taken from me friend and neighbour—darkness is my closest friend.”  The end!  Ever felt like that?  Ever blamed God?  Ever felt guilty about feeling like that and blaming God?  I have and I imagine I’m in good company.

Genuine Faith is Honest Faith

The fact that life is not always fair enables us to be honest and realistic about our faith and remember that people in Australia are looking for people of genuine faith, not a faith where everything works out miraculously.  One of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had was with Myuran Sukumaran in January 2015.  I was in Kerobokan prison, visiting Andrew Chan for his 31st birthday, when I found out that Myu’s appeal had been denied.  I asked him if he’d like to talk about it, and the next morning we spent about three hours talking this through.  During our conversation, I asked him how his faith in God was going, and he told me he was angry with God.  I said that I didn’t think that was a problem and that God was big enough to handle his anger.  I encouraged him to read the Psalms in which so many of the authors express their anger towards God.  Myu took me at my word, read the Psalms and started his journey back to faith in God over the next few months before his execution.

As Peter Enns states: “Expressions of abandonment aren’t godless moments, evidence that something is wrong and needing to be fixed.  They relay the experiences of ancient men and women of faith, and were kept because those experiences were common  … for us they signal not only what can happen in the life of faith, but also what does happen.” [1]

People are looking for a genuine faith that is honest and realistic, not one that always has to have a Disney ending.  I encourage you to be authentic in your faith and, if you’re considering finding out more about Christianity, realise that you’ll be coming to God who loves you just the way you are and that you can be completely honest with him.

For more on this topic listen to my message When Life Is Not Fair.

 

[1] The Sin of Certainty, Peter Enns (P. 60)

This week on my Facebook page I asked parents to give me feedback on this question: “If your children don’t want to come to church should you still bring them along?”  I went on to say, “I realise that there are many views on this and each parent(s) make their own decisions. How have you handled this one with your children? What has been the outcome?”  What followed was a very honest and respectful discussion that will form the basis of what I hope will be an informative and helpful blog.

As I expected, the comments were many and varied and reflected some strong opinions along with some gentler approaches.  Some parents answered the question with a definite “YES” – “My house. My rules. Kids don’t want to eat vegetables. Do you make them? They want to stay home from school and watch YouTube. Should you let them? No. When they turn 18 … different story.”  I tried the “under my roof” approach with Gigi (our eldest daughter) a few years ago.  Her response was to suggest that she’d get a caravan and park it in the driveway so that she wouldn’t technically be “under our roof”.  She’s an awful lot like me J.

Another parent commented, “I think the most influencing factor on my opinion is that the Holy Spirit doesn’t have a forceful nature; he doesn’t “make” us do things. Being a Christian and attending church is a heart level decision and if parents are forcing their kids to come purely based on the “my house, my rules” way, then I can see it having a negative impact in the long run. ”

Some parents reported that this has never been a necessary question, “I’m so glad I’ve never had to face this because [my son] loves coming to church”, while others described stories of rebellion and resentment: “My brother and I were made to go to church twice on a Sunday, Tuesday prayer meeting and Friday Bible study – every week while we were under their roof. Going to church was the most important thing – came before family. I wasn’t allowed to join the guides as it was on Friday. My brother has moved away from Christianity and his main reason is the way we were raised.”

Parenting children is a minefield of challenges at the best of times so hopefully what follows will be some helpful things to consider when it comes to raising your children to develop a genuine faith in Jesus:

  1. Exercise a lifestyle of worship at home

A children’s pastor at a large Melbourne church wrote, “I believe the church experience, when presented in all its various expressions within the home, will make ‘big’ church more attractive for the entire family. From my years in children’s ministry, the children who engage in the Sunday program the quickest are the ones who have already started to exercise a lifestyle of worship at home.”  This man, who I highly respect, raises what I consider to be the most important issue connected with this question, that is the responsibility that Christian parents have to “instruct [their children] and teach them the ways of the Lord as you raise them” (Ephesians 6:4).

A pastor friend of mine who has been in Christian ministry for over two decades observes, “for the most part parents delegate out the responsibility for their child’s spiritual growth to the church.”  The church should be partnering with parents to assist them with their responsibility.  This means that Christian parents must model what it means to be Christian in every part of life by having a genuine relationship with Jesus.

  1. Make it a conversation rather than a command

We’ve had a number of discussions over the years with our kids about church and we’ve always tried to make it a conversation rather than a command.  We explain to them why we want them to be part of church with us – it’s what we do as a family.

We have healthy, age-appropriate discussions on questions of faith, morality and ethics.  We’ve listened when they’ve had problems such as finding church (youth / kids’ min etc.) boring or irrelevant.  We’ve helped them make friends by befriending the parents of the kids they like.  One of the best things we’ve ever done is a Bayside family missions trip to Thailand four years ago.  Our kids made great friends with the other young people on the trip and those friendships have endured.  And we spend time in prayer for our children asking God to help them and us.

A young man at Bayside Church wrote, “I was given the option from the age of 14 and I still go to church, and very strong in my faith. If my parents would have forced me I would have felt like it wasn’t my decision to believe.” 

A mum wrote, “Usually a one on one chat sorts it and he’s happy to attend.”

  1. Choose a good, local church

I emphasise “local” here.  I appreciate that some parents love travelling a long way to go to an exciting mega-church but this can tend to be an event rather than a community.  The likelihood is that other people are travelling an hour to get there (from the opposite direction) and your kids will make friends with theirs – and you’ll live two hours away from each other.  There’s nothing like being part of a church in your local community and getting to know people who live nearby.

Once you’ve found a good church stick with it.  Resist the temptation to church hop and becoming a Christian consumer.  Get involved as a family and make it the best church it can be because you’re there.

  1. Make church a non-negotiable for the whole family

Joshua uttered the immortal words, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”  We have a habit of gathering with our church community as a family on Saturday evenings.  Because Christie and I are the senior leaders at Bayside Church we are usually at two or three meetings each weekend.  We don’t expect our kids to be at every service – one is enough. We do our best to work around social events by dropping them off at a party after church on Saturday evenings.  Sometimes they’ll miss church if the party starts earlier.  It all works on a case-by-case basis and also depends on their attitude and helpfulness around the home during the week.  But most weekends church is a non-negotiable for our family.  I wish it were for all Christians.

We need to see many families make a complete shift in the current individualistic mindset towards church.  Most Western Christians see church as something to attend – or not.  People “go to church” – or not – rather than seeing church as a community of believers you “belong” to and are an active part of.

A mate of mine who’s an agnostic wrote, “I think kids can learn some good life lessons in going to their families’ chosen church, and I’ve witnessed the amazing community feeling that Bayside offers.”

Another said, “Going to church is a family event, just as much as having dinner together. Both are important to ‘us’ as a family and not negotiable.” 

A single mum in our church community said, “My kids as toddlers didn’t want to go to church and especially hated kids groups. I kept bringing them despite it being extremely difficult. I stood by the word, especially Proverbs 22:6. It took a while but now I can’t get them out of church. Lol.  As teenagers and preteens, they feel that Bayside is home and know it’s a huge part of our lives. I’m so happy God gave me the strength and support to push through and keep attending during the tough times. Now we are reaping the blessings.”

  1. Don’t beat yourself up if your kids have walked away

Even a casual reading of the Bible shows that many of God’s kids rebelled against Him too – and He’s the perfect parent!  If your children have rebelled – or just walked away from their faith and the church, rest in the fact that you did your best and you did what you believed to be right at the time.  Entrust your kids into the hands of a loving heavenly parent who still has their best interest at heart.

So much more could be said, feel free to comment, share and interact on this topic and let’s help each other be even better parents.

Last week I addressed two of the most-often asked questions when it comes to spiritual healing: “does God really heal people?” and, “why do Christians get sick?” 

This week let’s look at a few more questions and what the Bible has to say about them:

Question Three: Do I have to deny I’m sick in order to be healed?

This question is based on some of the teaching that has, in my opinion, taken positive & negative confession too far.  It’s based on a wrong translation of Romans 4:17-21.  The King James (and New King James Versions) translate it as follows: “And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead…neither yet the deadness of Sarah’s womb.”  The apostle Paul is speaking of Abraham and Sarah and their inability to conceive.  Notice how the KJV says Abraham “considered not.”  This infers Abraham denied the fact that he was too old to father a child and that Sarah was barren.  The newer translations of the Bible, which use older and more reliable manuscripts, translate these verses very differently: Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead.”  Denying you’re sick doesn’t bring healing; facing the facts and then asking God for healing is the Biblical approach.  Jesus always ministered to people on the basis of their honesty.  Consider the blind man in Mark 8:23-24.  Jesus prayed for him once and then asked, “Do you see anything?”  The man replied, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.”  On the basis of his honesty “Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.”  What if he’d denied reality? He would have been half blind for the rest of his life!  Genuine faith does not ignore the facts; it does not deny reality.  Genuine faith is honest about the facts and remains strong in God despite them.

Question Four: Why isn’t everyone healed when they’re prayed for?

If you are a Christian, I believe God ultimately heals you. In chapter 5 of his letter, the apostle James gives the recipe for healing; is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.”  The Lord can raise people up in two ways: physically, by a complete healing that is either an instantaneous event or a gradual process, or spiritually through physical death and resurrection, ushering the person into eternal life without sickness, pain, sorrow or crying; a place where God will wipe every tear from their eyes!  This is ultimate healing – in heaven with Jesus!  The Psalmist said, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” (Psalm 116:15).  I always pray for healing and life.  If God brings physical healing, I don’t take the glory.  If He doesn’t, I don’t take the blame!  My job is to pray in faith.  God’s work is to raise the sick person up either physically or spiritually according to His sovereign will.

Consider these words from Isaiah 57:1-2, “The righteous perish, and no one takes it to heart; the devout are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil.  Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.”  Sometimes death is a kinder option for a Christian person in order to spare them from a difficult future.  We need to develop the same eternal perspective as the apostle Paul in Philippians 1:19-26.  We are strangers and pilgrims on earth, just passing through!  Don’t hold onto this life too tightly.

Question Five: Is it a lack of faith for a Christian to see a doctor?

The answer to this question is also found in James 5, “…to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the Name of the Lord.”  In this verse we see the wonderful link in the Bible between faith and medicine – pray and anoint with oil.  Pray means that we always seek God first for the answer to any need we may have. “Anoint” means “to pour or massage.” “Oil” in Bible times was often used for medicinal purposes (cf. Luke 10:34).  God is not anti-doctors and medical science.  In fact he chose Dr. Luke, the “beloved physician”, as one of His key church leaders and the author of Luke and Acts.  Doctors and medically trained people can treat many conditions successfully; diagnose a condition so you can pray more specifically; and confirm that a healing has taken place.  Many times Jesus told people to show themselves to the priests, the ones who could confirm a healing had happened and thus declare a person to be clean.  Of course, Medical science still has its limitations.  It is sometimes when doctors can’t help that God steps in.

Question Six: Should I throw away my medicines as a step of faith?

Simply “NO”, because doctors and medicine are ways that God heals people.  It’s important to realize that many medicines are found in nature.  God created them in the first place and people have merely discovered and refined what God placed in creation.  The Bible says, Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”  Medical science and healing professions and techniques are a good gift from God.  It can be dangerous to take yourself off some medicines, so consult with your doctor first.

Question Seven: Are all illnesses, particularly mental illness, demonic in origin?

I’ve heard this question particularly amongst Pentecostal and charismatic Christians over the years and it shows a massive amount of ignorance of mental illnesses especially.  Matthew 4:23-24 identifies various kinds of sickness and disease.  People who were (1) ill with various diseases; (2) suffering severe pain; (3) Demon-possessed; (4) having seizures – sudden attacks of a particular disorder and (5) paralysed.  These five categories cover the main areas of sickness, disease and various conditions that many people still face.  Notice that demonic spirits harrassed some and that still happens today as well.  The discerning person will prayerfully discover, often with the help of medical professionals, what the cause of a sickness is and then seek the best way to bring healing wherever possible.  Labelling people who are sick or mentally ill as demon possessed, can often aggravate the distress that is already being experienced. It also brings unnecessary condemnation and anxiety to the one who is suffering, as well as to those who are caring for them.

If you are helping someone who is sick here are a few things to remember:

Don’t constantly ask them how they are.
Don’t ask if they are feeling better.

Don’t make every conversation about their sickness.

Don’t define a person by their condition.

Don’t quote Scripture verses at them. Let them find their own comfort in God.

Ask what they are believing for and then stand in agreement with them.

Weep with those who weep.

Let them know that you love them and are praying for them.

Don’t be guilty of over-caring.  Look after yourself too.

If you visit someone who is sick don’t stay too long.

Find some practical ways to help.

Don’t offer advice that conflicts with medical professionals.

Don’t condemn people by making thoughtless statements.

Be kind, compassionate, loving, gentle and understanding.

I came across an article this week that was published in Psychology Today a while ago. The article highlighted the psychological benefits of having faith. Despite the many voices around today that would decry the importance of religious faith, it is still thriving in many parts of the world – including Australia. One reason for this is that faith is actually good for our physical and psychological health. Psychology Today suggests four main ways this takes place:

1. Faith is a source of hope and optimism
Research in psychology indicates that positive attitudes are good for our health. For example, people who are optimistic about their chances of recovery from major diseases tend to better adhere to medical treatment plans, be less bothered by disease symptoms and have better recovery rates. For many people, their faith is a major source of hope and optimism.

2. Faith promotes feelings of belonging
We humans are social creatures and so meeting our need to belong is good for us. In a world that is leading to increasing isolation through an addiction to so-called “social” media, belonging to a community of people has never been more important. Conversation, prayer, laughter, empathy, hugs and serving are all benefits of belonging.

3. Faith can boost self-esteem
Like optimism, self-esteem has been shown to be a predictor of good physical health. We gain self-esteem from feeling as if we are people of value. Faith can offer a particularly potent and resilient sense of self-worth because God, like a good parent, loves and values us no matter what we do. Many sources of self-esteem (like beauty, success and popularity) are not so reliable.

4. Faith provides answers to many of life’s questions
As intellectual and self-aware creatures, we humans are uniquely able to ask questions like, “Where did I come from?” “Why am I here?” “What is the meaning of life?” “What happens to me when I die?” For people of faith it is not satisfying to accept the possibility that human existence is by chance and people are no more significant or enduring than any other organism. Faith offers meaning, purpose and hope in this life as well as the life to come.

Of course anything good can be counterfeited and so some people, whose faith becomes misguided by being involved with false cults, can experience the “bad side of faith.” But as long as faith is placed in a loving God and expressed in a healthy community of believers, it adds an amazing dimension to life. Jesus referred to it as “abundant life” and expressed clearly that this was His main mission, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). If you haven’t put your faith in Jesus, why not do it now?

Let’s be honest, while there are some good reasons for leaving a church, there are a lot more bad ones. As a pastor, I hear some of them every now and again. Here are five really bad reasons to leave a Church:

1. “I’m not being fed”

As a pastor with a teaching gift I take my job of feeding God’s people VERY seriously. But there are also lots of other things vying for my time: managing staff, meeting needs, putting out fires and developing leaders – all while overseeing the overall vision and direction of the church. Years ago a man in our church had a vision. He saw adults sitting in baby highchairs with a dummy in their mouth. God showed him that many Christians are like that – big babies who still cry every time they want someone else to feed them.

To leave a church because you’re not getting “enough” is a cop out. Your primary call in the church is to contribute, not just to consume. As a Christian, you shouldn’t require spoon-feeding for the rest of your life. Eventually you need to learn how to feed yourself so that, in time, you can actually feed others. Remember, your call is not just to be a disciple but also to make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20)

2. “It’s getting too big”

I can appreciate the sense of loss that accompanies growth. When Bayside Church began 22 years ago we were a small band of Christians who could all fit into one living room. It feels very different now that we are a large church spread across multiple services & sites. There are moments when I miss the intimacy and simplicity of those early days. But remaining small is a sad and unbiblical goal.

When churches are faithful to the Great Commission, lives will be changed and people will be added to their number. Growth is inevitable for faithful and healthy churches. If you have a problem with big churches, you really wouldn’t have liked the first church, and you definitely won’t like heaven.  Instead of seeing size as a negative, learn to appreciate all the variety and influence that a big church can achieve.

3. “I don’t agree with everything that is being preached”

Guess what? Neither do I and I’m the pastor. As such I fully reserve the right to disagree with myself. And every now and then I do exactly that, because I’m learning, growing & asking questions, and my hope is that you are doing the same. I trust the pulpit at Bayside Church to our team members & visiting ministries and I don’t always agree with everything that is said or the way they say it but, unless it is rank heresy, I just let it slide because we’re all learning and growing together.

Chances are you are not going to agree with everything that is preached anywhere. We need to learn to disagree on secondary issues.

4. “My Needs Aren’t Being Met”

People who use this as an excuse to leave a church have bought into the lie that, when it comes to church, it’s really all about “me.” Here’s the problem: the Church actually isn’t about you. It’s about Jesus. It’s His Church. He came for it. He died for it. He redeemed it. He continues to build it. And one day, He’ll come back for it. It’s His.

This is the same Jesus who came to seek and to save the lost and then commissioned his Church to go and do the same. The Church doesn’t just exist to meet your needs. You are a part of the Church that exists to meet the needs of the others. Put away the shopping trolley and pick up a shovel!

5. Unresolved Conflict

This is the number one reason people leave a church and of course wherever you find imperfect people you will find conflict. The Church is one big family full of characters and misfits. Sometimes sisters argue and brothers fight. But despite it all, family is supposed to be the place where you stick together even when it’s hard – especially when it’s hard.

Paul addressed a lot of church conflict in his letters. Nowhere do we hear him encouraging believers to bail on one another or move on down the road to a different church where it’ll be easier. Instead, much of his letters are his encouraging and coaching these ragamuffin communities in how to do this very hard and messy thing together.

One of the key aspects of the gospel is forgiveness and reconciliation. How will we ever demonstrate these things to the world if we don’t practice them ourselves?

Based on an article written by Aaron Loy in Relevant Magazine

How do you go with being interrupted? I’m not too keen on it personally, especially when I’m busy or working to a deadline. I tend to see interruptions as something of an enemy rather than a friend. But when I look at the life of Jesus one thing that stands out is the number of times something amazing came out of Him being interrupted. Now I know He lived in a different – and probably slower – time and culture. But I sometimes wonder whether we miss great things because we live such busy and uninterruptable lives.

Mark’s Gospel chapter 15 tells the account of Jesus’ torture and crucifixion. Right in the middle of this story is a verse that almost seems out of place – a verse that speaks about divine interruptions. It’s verse 21, “They forced a man coming in from the country, who was passing by, to carry Jesus’ cross. He was Simon, a Cyrenian, the father of Alexander and Rufus.”
Simon was coming in from the country for Feast of Passover. There he was just minding his own business, on his way to a religious feast and completely unaware of the life-changing event that was about to take place.

Roman soldiers had the right to force citizens into compulsory service much like our police can do in co-opting your car if they need to. Jesus was already severely weakened by His torture and so the soldiers forced Simon to carry the cross for Jesus.

Simon was a Jewish Cyrenian from the north coast of Africa. He was so impacted by this event, and no doubt by what he witnessed in seeing Jesus crucified and all the ensuing events, that he became a Christian as a result. The next time we come across Simon he is listed as one of the leaders (a prophet and teacher) in the Antioch Church. In Acts 13:1 we read of Simon (or Simeon) whose nickname was Niger from the Latin word meaning “Black.” (This later became a derogatory term referring to black people but was here probably used as a term of endearment). Simon was a black man from Libya in Northern Africa.

It is likely that Simon and his family accepted Jesus as their Messiah, settled into the Jerusalem church and then scattered when persecution broke out.

Simon’s encounter with Jesus not only changed his life but also the life of his family. Mark makes special mention of Simon’s sons: He was “the father of Alexander and Rufus.” The next time we hear of Rufus he is one of the leaders in the church in Rome (Romans 16:13).

Tradition states that Rufus and Alexander became missionaries; the inclusion of their names in Mark’s gospel suggests that they were of some standing in the Early Christian community at Rome.

Simon was interrupted on his journey but his whole family became Christians as a result and were instrumental in the early development and growth of the Christian Church. There was probably nothing further from Simon’s mind as he walked into Jerusalem that day. He had probably never even heard of Jesus. And yet he just happened to be in the right place at the right time and was interrupted and had the entire course of his (and his family’s) life changed as a result.

I’m challenged by this story, as well as by the life of Jesus, to live an interruptible life as well as to live a life of awareness of God’s presence in every moment of every day. Who knows that the next time you’re interrupted could be a collision of destiny for you or someone else. Let’s be open to divine interruptions.

One of America’s leading churches came to this realisation back in 2007 after conducting extensive research amongst its people to see how effective the church was at making disciples of Jesus.  Willow Creek Community Church Senior Pastor Bill Hybels said, “We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and become Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become self-feeders. We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their Bible between services, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.”

In other words, spiritual growth doesn't happen best by becoming dependent on elaborate church programs but through the age-old spiritual practices of prayer, bible reading, and relationships.

That’s why this year we’re focusing on teaching people the daily devotional approach to the Bible.  This method is concerned with what the Bible has to say ~ especially what it has to say to me personally. What does the Bible tell me about God? Jesus? The church? My relation to the world? What does it tell me about what to believe? About how to act? About social responsibilities? How can the Bible help make me closer to God? How does it help me to live? Daily devotions help us to read the Bible in order to find out what to believe and how to live our life in a way that is pleasing to God and the best for others and us.

When Willow Creek were looking for help with this they turned to Wayne Cordeiro, Senior Pastor of New Hope church in Honolulu. Many years ago Wayne developed the SOAP method of Bible reading.  Watch this video where he explains how to do daily devotions using SOAP.

I’ve taught SOAP daily devotions several times over the years at Bayside Church, but it’s time to refresh it and teach it again and get everyone on the same page ~ literally!

In a nutshell, SOAP in as acrostic that works like this:

S – Scripture – From your daily reading write down a verse or two that particularly speaks to you.

O – Observation – Write a brief observation from this verse as to what you see in it.

A – Application – What truth can you apply to your life from this scripture?  How will you be different today because of what you have just read? (Use words like: me, myself & I)

P – Prayer – Finish your time by writing a prayer using the verse(s) through which God has spoken to you.  Then take the scripture with you through the day; read it regularly and meditate on its truth.

Here’s an example from my own journal:

S: “Do not be afraid Zacharias, for your petition has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son…” (Luke 1:13)

O: Zacharias, as a priest of God, was going about his daily work of serving God and His people.  Zacharias and his wife were elderly, and his wife Elizabeth was also barren.  This was no doubt a point of distress and disappointment to them both and a matter of regular prayer that, until now, had gone unanswered.  But that was about to change… “For your petition has been heard!”

A: A lack of immediate response to my prayers does not mean that God hasn’t heard me.  It does mean that the time has not yet arrived to answer them.  As I continually and faithfully serve God and His people each day, God will answer my prayers at the right time and in the best way ~ not just to bless me, but also to bless others.

P: Jesus, help me to exercise faith and patience in life and not to see divine delays as unanswered prayer.  Amen

When reading the Bible, look for lessons to be learned, examples to be followed, promises to be enjoyed and Jesus to be revealed.

Finally, here are some things to help you on your disciplined journey of feeding yourself on God’s Word.

Download the reading plan from the Bayside Church website or download the New Hope Oahu App.


Don’t try and read the whole reading every day (unless you want to).  Read until you get something and then start journaling.  Make it work for you – don’t bite off more than you can chew.  Better to read, remember and practice one verse than to read and forget four chapters!

If you’re new to the Christian faith focus on the New Testament readings and Psalms.  If you find something that you want to study further, make a note of it and go back to it when you have more time.  If you miss a day, skip it.  Don’t try and catch up.  Make it doable so that it is a blessing not a burden.  The goal of your time with God is to grow closer to Him. It’s not to check off your list. You can get together and “SOAP” with others too.  Take an hour ~ 20 minutes to read, 20 minutes to journal, 20 minutes to share.

The Christian life is not rocket science.  It’s wonderful to belong to a vibrant Christian community and to be taught God’s Word on a regular basis, but who would only want to eat once a week?  Learn to feed yourself on God’s Word everyday, put your roots deep down into eternal truth and become steadfast, immovable, and always abounding in the Lord's work!

I believe the Bible gives us four principles that help us discover what God’s will is for our life:
Firstly, we need to ask the question, “What does the word say?”  The word of God is the will of God.  Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”  In other words, the Bible illuminates where we are right now as well as where we need to walk into the immediate future.  The Bible gives us general guidelines for decision-making so study it!  Know it!  Do it!  The Bible however is a compass not a map.  It helps us set the right direction in life, but it doesn’t always give us the specifics such as who am I to marry?  Which university should I attend?  Where should I live?  What career should I pursue?  Should I leave this job and pursue another?  Is God calling me into church or marketplace ministry?  And so on.  The next three principles help us find the answers to these and other questions.
The second principle is “What does wisdom say?”  That is, something may be permitted by God, but is this course of action wise at this particular time?  It’s like the statement the apostle Paul made in 1 Corinthians 10:23, “Everything is permissible – but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible – but not everything is constructive.”  Wisdom is the ability to put your knowledge into action in the right way.  And so, when making a decision ask yourself, “is this beneficial, is this constructive, is this wise?”
Thirdly, use your initiative!  In Genesis 2:19-20, God gave Adam the job of naming ALL the animals – no easy task.  He has created people with a brain, with intelligence, with a mind and He expects us to use it!  2 Timothy 1:7 says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  A sound mind means common sense.  In decision-making use your initiative, do the research, find out the facts and the options, and then move forward because it’s easier to steer a moving vehicle than a stationary one!
Finally, make sure you submit every decision to the sovereignty of God.  That’s the truth we find in James 4:13-15, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
So, ask what the word teaches and what wisdom dictates.  Use your initiative and submit every decision to God’s sovereignty.  And remember, what God opens, no one can shut; and what He shuts, no one can open (Revelation 3:7).