Marriage Under Threat


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Marriage Under Threat

20 August 2014 Hits:5908

When you read the title of this blog what did you immediately think of? Probably gay marriage! But that’s not what this blog is about. I believe there is a greater threat to marriage– a threat that comes from within the church itself.

Over the past few years I have been amazed to see many Christian marriages fail:

I’ve seen a Christian leader leave his wife and kids.

Then there’s the two pastors – who’ve had longstanding addictions to Internet porn and marital unfaithfulness – decide to leave their wives, children and churches.

There’s the wife who just doesn’t want to be married anymore so she leaves her husband.

I know an evangelist in the USA who’s recently been married for the fifth time – and is still in ministry. She invited us to the wedding but we were unable to attend. I told her we’d try and make the next one.

Another well-known evangelist has recently been separated from his wife of 30 years – even though they had been living in different houses for quite some time. This abusive marriage is over but the evangelist is still in ministry of course; the show must go on!

A while ago I heard that the son of an Australia Church leader was getting remarried. This young man had left his first wife because they didn’t really love each other and just weren’t happy. I asked the pastor who was doing the wedding what he thought about the Scriptures concerning divorce and remarriage. He told me he wasn’t thinking about it too much. After all, they are friends and he didn’t want to let them down. “But didn’t Jesus say they would be committing adultery” I asked. I was told, “yes, but they’ll ask for God’s forgiveness and it’ll all be okay!” It’s just that simple!

And these examples are just the tip of the iceberg. Marriage certainly is under threat but the biggest threat is from within the church itself, and the church needs to sort itself out rather than just playing moral policeman to everyone else.

The words of Jesus ring true on this issue: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”(Matthew 7:3, 5)

Of course I am aware that some marriages have no hope of surviving because of infidelity, abuse or someone just walking away; and my heart goes out to people who wanted their marriage to work but found themselves in a situation that was beyond their control. But what I’m addressing here is the undervaluing of marriage by some today who leave marriages because they’re “just not happy anymore.” Christian people who view marriage as a ten-year lease with an option to extend are a bigger threat to the holy institution of marriage than anyone or anything else.

Rob Buckingham

Senior Minister

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2 replies on “Marriage Under Threat”

Linda Mainsays:

Pastor Rob,
I have absolute respect for you but I have to ask why you think its not OK to still preach if you have had a divorce?
After all we all make mistake in life,( I can think of many big bloopers). We grow up, hopefully we learn…but for the grace of God we are all sinners.

Rob Buckinghamsays:

Hi Linda,

Thank you for your comments. I’m not sure that I said a person can’t preach if they’ve had a divorce. What I am saying is that some churches / Christians have a very low view of marriage, leading to people divorcing too easily rather than trying to work things through. In his qualifications of church leaders Paul wrote to Timothy:

“He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” (1 Tim 3:4-6)

Point in case, if someone can’t keep their family together they disqualify themselves – at least for a period of time – until their life is back on track. If they can’t lead their own family how can they lead, or teach, God’s family.

I hope this helps Linda and thanks again for your comments.

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