Facebook Foul-ups


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Facebook Foul-ups

1 September 2010 Hits:5285

It never ceases to amaze me what some people post on social networking sites like Facebook – as if the rest of the world can’t see!

Even some people at Bayside Church have made statements or posted pictures that have surprised me for two reasons.  The first reason is for the lack of wisdom displayed and the second is because the post reveals a behaviour or character issue that is inconsistent with the person’s Christian confession.

It’s not surprising then that some of this “over-sharing” on Facebook has led to an overabundance of evidence in divorce cases.  The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81% of its members have used or faced evidence plucked from social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, YouTube and Linkedin over the last five years – 66% of them from Facebook.

About one in five adults use Facebook for flirting.  I personally know of five marriages that have broken down over the past year because of inappropriate online activity.  And these are Christian couples!

There have been cases where children have been asked by one parent to “de-friend” the other parent because of separation or divorce.  Some of the other gaffs include:

 Husband goes on Match.com and declares his single, childless status while seeking primary custody of said nonexistent children.
 Husband denies anger management issues but posts on Facebook, “If you have the balls to get in my face, I’ll kick your ass into submission.”
 Mum denies in court that she smokes marijuana but posts partying, pot-smoking photos of herself on Facebook.
 A woman accuses her spouse of adultery and he denies this in court.  Meanwhile the girlfriend posts pictures of her and the man on Facebook!

And so on it goes.  It’s the “Second Life Syndrome” where there’s a disconnect between what a person is in real life compared with who they are online.  They live in a dream world, with a picture of who they’d like to be and who they wish they were.  Not one of us will attain perfection this side of heaven, but there is great peace in living a life without guile and hypocrisy – where what you see is what you get.

Facebook is an excellent site if used properly.  The internet likewise offers great benefits and resources.  But many good things can be a curse when not used properly.  If you find yourself struggling with “Second Life Syndrome” please seek help from a trusted friend who can hold you accountable. Don’t become another statistic from a Facebook foul-up.

Rob Buckingham

Senior Minister

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10 replies on “Facebook Foul-ups”


Hi Rob, once again a very insightful blog. It’s great that someone has been able to articulate the issue like you just have. I also hope many people take it all to heart.


This is a great blog. I was a flirter and it cost me my marriage. Sexual addiction is a bigger problem then a lot of churches will admit to.

K Dickersonsays:

So, so many traps. Love this technology, but in relation to it a phrase does come to mind ” With great power comes great responsibility” . Wise words by a favourite philosopher: Spiderman. What about Grindr? Would be interesting to hear what your thoughts are about that Rob

L. Weichmansays:

So true Rob. As a teacher i am very concerned about what my students write on Face book. They don’t seem to realize that what they write is in a public domain but they must always be mindful of this. What disturbs me most is the way they “Advertise” themselves as a commodity, embellishing their lives to make themselves appear more exciting. It is the “second life” you refer to, a life that seems so much more interesting than reality but by large a lie. It is a shame that they cannot be content with who they are, and be true to who God made them to be.


Dont know what happened before. Fat fingers. Hit the wrong key etc

Just wanted to say that great Ps Rob. A good warning. Hope some of our people take heed.

I actually dont like Facebook. My son spends an indordinate amount of time immerssed in it. But I dont like it coz I never actually know who I’m talking to. I like one on one. Proud of you for taking on the technology challenge..its great to know I have a Ps whos tech savvy mate.

I have a dream…”1 million people watching Bayside church”…Its my revelation…wanted to share it with. It has empowered me to fight for it and to be tranformed into His sons likeness along the journey mate.

Thanks you Ps Rob and Christie for loving Jesus.



Hi Rob. Great blog. The “second life syndrome” you mention also highlights the supressed aspirations (positive and negative) that many people have. Being on-line can be a like being drunk. People say and do things they would never do in their right mind. Some aspirations can be destructive time-bombs, ready to go off, that need to be defused. Thanks God there are wonderful pastors, cousellors and prayer team members that can help defuse them!

Valentine Wanguisays:

Thanx Psr Rob! its amazing how such a simplw thing can twist on people’s lives. Hypocrisy aint wisdom in disguise, it is foolishness in the open and we Christian’s need to distinguish that or else we will fall and cause others to fall as well. Love ya Pasi. thanx for that wisdom.God tells us in His word thru Paul that we should be careful how we live not as unwise but as wise. Also read Eph 4:25

Theresa Daysays:

Very good and timely advice. Everywhere you go these days facebook and the like is promoted so much so even when going to buy a mobile phone you have these options of the above. Yes like Pastor Rob says it can have great benefits and resources. Thanks Pastor Rob for reminding us about keeping things in their right prospective. I am not on facebook and don’t understand much about it but possibly would like to join one day and to be forwarned is to be forarmed with Godly advice, Thanks Pastor Rob. 🙂

hound dogsays:

Great blog Ps Rob! Just wanted to add my 2 bobs worth. We don’t let our kids use these mediums and personally don’t use them ourselves. I see issues in the future with some users posting photos taken with others and posting without permission. This is leading straight into court. It will destroy families and friendships. I know if my photo was posted without consent then I would be looking to the letter of the law to remedy the situation. It has the potential to destroy credability of innocent bystanders. Along with the many incidents you hear of bullying and cowardly personal attacks in a public non confrontational forum. I see it as a medium of heresay and gossip. Whether the gossip is true or not does not matter if the other party is not knowledgable of the fact.
Evil will flourish via these mediums. Thank the lord for the computer off button.
We have the choice and the power.

Grace S Hamiltonsays:

Face-book, internet addiction is an electronic-age epidemic.  It’s over-reliance fosters misuse is certainly taking it’s toll on  families. Our own household is traversing the expanses of confusion and the great divide! 

It especially and constantly challenges a believers:
– freedom (of-will)
– biblical weights 

In particular there is impending urgency for families to consider and perhaps re-think:
– the competing principle ought to be adjusted in our saturating electronic-age, and
– how couples, marriage, relationships and families are waning as a result of displaced weights.  

REF: “Everything is permissible” – but not everything is benificial. “Everything is permissible” – but not everything is constructive.
(I Cor 10:23). 

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